Somebody's Watching Me

So, in a moment of weakness/sadness - immediately post-breakup - I had the bright idea of joining Match.com. Sound crazy? Yeah, probably. But, I did it for two reasons: 1. I needed to remind myself that there ARE, in fact, plenty of other fish in the sea; and 2. nothing strokes a bruised ego quite like a barrage of virtual "winks" and emailed pick-up lines. My Match profile definitely served those two purposes, but two days and over 1,000 profile views into it, I remembered why I hate that site.

If you decide to online date (as many people do these days), really think about how many people you are comfortable with having the ability to view your profile. You have two privacy selections in Match, and they are either to completely hide your profile, or to completely expose it. You can block certain users, but that usually doesn't become an option until the trouble's already started.

Point in case - I was matched with a self-proclaimed "Bachelor", who was pushing 40 and had never been married. I'm not really one to talk on that point, so I figured I wouldn't judge. Yet. He seemed nice enough, at first, but one email into our interaction and he was asking for my number, and had given me his. Call me old-fashioned, but if I'm taking the online plunge, I want to take it SLOWLY. That's one of the greatest advantages of this medium of social networking. You have plenty of time to decide if the guy's a psycho BEFORE you give him (or inadvertently divulge via caller ID) any information that could indicate where you live, where you work, or what your last name might be. The first request, I didn't acknowledge. Instead of calling him, I simply wrote an email back, responding to the questions and comments in his prior email. He responded to that by telling me he hates email (um, why are you online dating then?), and would rather call me. I told him, very nicely, that while I was interested in continuing communications with him, I would rather hold off on the phone calls, and just email for a while. I was quite surprised at his reaction. Instead of indulging - no, RESPECTING - my very polite and reasonable request, he basically stated that he was not amenable to that arrangement, and I should just block my number and call him, if I were worried about my privacy and security. Well, this kind of weirded me out (Why is this guy so obsessed with getting me on the phone? And what's so darn difficult about sending a couple of emails?), and it seemed pretty frickin' pushy to me. Since I was already turned off by the whole Match process altogether at that point, I decided to take the mature and responsible route and just never respond to him again. Surely, he'd just go away.

Or not... Relentless much?? He has since emailed me four or five times (in a matter of days) - at one point going so far as to ask if I had been abducted by aliens or run off with Brad Pitt. Seriously. I know I'm not a mind-reader by any means, and I understand that guys can be particularly dense sometimes, but WHAT THE HECK? What would make this guy think that I am even remotely interested at this point, or that his behavior is even somewhat un-crazy? And further, for a guy who supposedly hates emailing, he sure has that whole electronic stalker thing down pat! I think I now know why he's a 40-year-old bachelor...

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So, to celebrate all the crazies in this world, and the fact that - clearly - I am one HELLUVA catch, a lyrical and musical salute:

Here's to you Bachelor Bill!

Clay Aiken on 6Lyrics.com

And Just For Jill...

Alright so this is a song about anyone, it could be anyone.

You're just doing your own thing and some one comes out the blue,

They're like,"Alright"What ya saying,

"Yeah can I take your digits?"

And you're like, "no not in a million years,

you're nasty. Please leave me alone."

- Lily Allen, Knock 'Em Out

Have a special stalker in your life? Click HERE for a list of the top ten stalker songs!

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A Post-Script: I have since cancelled my Match subscription. I hid my profile after about three days. The very second - and I mean, INSTANTLY - I would try to un-hide it (so I could see my matches), the aforementioned Creepy McCreeperson would email, or a couple of other particularly forward guys would repeatedly message me. I guess they have no jobs and can just monitor profile activity all day?? So, I'm done. Back to relishing The Single Life for this girl.

What do you guys think?

Am I overreacting?

How would my readers out there feel about having over 1,000 people view their profiles in 2 days?

And what would you have said to Bachelor Bill?

Discuss...