Fire

So, this happened today, 5 miles from my house:



  

 



Miraculously - and PRAISE GOD - only one person was killed (2 others are critically injured).  It's incredibly amazing that the cars behind this horrific accident didn't create a bajillion-car pile-up.  I can't promise you I wouldn't have run into all the people in front of me if I'd seen an oil tanker explode, producing a nuclear-bomb-sized cloud of black smoke and flames hot enough to melt the asphalt.  Kudos to you, metro-area drivers, for keeping your cool in a very, very scary situation.

Unfortunately, I averaged a speed of 15 mph all the way home, and missed the Secret Life of the American Teenager.  What a cluster...

Back In Black

Yep, that's right!  I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaacccccccccccckkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I know you guys missed me terribly, and please know how much I've missed you!  Some of you (well, some of those of you who might actually still follow my lonely little blog after my month-long hiatus, that is) may remember that I just undertook the miserable feat of sitting for the DREADED...

...wait for it...

Can't promise anyone that I passed (especially in light of my prior academic glory - see: Trash Talk Tuesday), but, I DID survive.  That's something, right?

 I have the Multistate Professional Responsibility Exam this Friday, and then I'm done with this crap - hopefully forever. I will find out the results of the bar, the MPRE, and the last section of the CPA exam on roughly the same day (somewhere around August 28).  So, stay tuned - at least for the end of the month. It will either be an AMAZING day, or an incredibly shitty one...

---

In the meantime, I'm starting a new project.  For the next 12 months I present to you an incredibly exciting (though unoriginal) self-improvement project - the Happiness Project (stolen from the book of the same name).  Much like the author of this charming memoir, Gretchen Rubin, I will focus on a different shortcoming or goal each month and strive to improve my life, and thereby increase my happiness, by making changes in that particular area.  A sneak preview - August, Month 1, will center on energy.  More details to come...

---

Alright happy people, I am off to bed.  Back to work tomorrow after my 30-day unpaid leave of absence/Studying Extravaganza.  Ugh...

But, before I go, a salute to all the people and things that got me through one HELLUVAN exam: 

• The fine folks at MicroMash and Bar in a Flash.  Love those guys!
• Microsoft OneNote 
• My dear friend Senor P - for sneaking me those PMBR lectures.  They saved my butt!
• The nut jobs that dreamed up this gem: 

• Law & Order SVU and the Closer.  (Win the Emmy, Kyra!!) 
• My now ex-Roomie - the Intern. 
• Deac, especially for my delicious celebratory dinner last night. 
• AC/DC
• This song: 

• This cereal: 

• My wrist-brace, Bengay, and BioFreeze. 
• My laptop, which functioned ALL the way through the race that is the state essay portion. 
• My dear friend Professor E. 
• A lot of prayers from all around. 
• The spacious suite at my ghetto hotel at the test-site, and the delicious salad at the restaurant next door.
• The view of the horse park that made me want a pony. 
• Coffee and Adderall. 
• This cat: 

• My bed. 
• And last - but absolutely not least since I'd probably be dead or in a padded cell right now without them - everyone out there who believed in me.  You know who you are. 

All of my love and devotion to all of the above.  You truly are my Sunshine.  

LAY-TUH! 

Finally

It has happened to me!


Once even my sister, with her impossible-to-rhyme name, got a song that said that name (Mambo No. 5, to be precise), and yet I had not, I accepted the fact that nobody would ever write a song for Kristen.  Sigh.  But, WAIT!  As I was flipping through my MP3 player on the way home from another beach trip with Deac, I discovered a song that not only mentions my name, it IS my name!!  Check it out!

  

PS - Missed you guys!!!

PPS  - 

I need your help with something.  Which pattern should I get??

Can't wait to rejoin the land of the living [blogger]!!!!

Monday, Monday

So, here I am, chillin' at the desk in my hotel room, dining on salmon and rissotto, and watching Pretty Wild on E!.  Sounds pretty awesome, huh?  Well, sort of.  This is the good part about working all the time and travelling for work.  When the salmon - and this post - are done, it's back to work.  Gotta love dining on the road, though!

Feeling random today so, even though it isn't Thursday, thought I'd share some random thoughts.  Or, random updates, if you will.

First: The Stinky Dog 

Sadly, he has cancer. :(  But, he's doing okay for now, and that's all that we can ask for.  Please keep the prayers coming, and fingers crossed that he keeps feeling okay and is with us for as long as comfortably possible.  We love him so.

Second: Adventures at the Amusement Park

Deac gets some serious props for actually riding the monstrosity I pictured in my prior post.  Holy crap, that thing was scary.  And FRICKIN' HUGE!!!!  You couldn't pay me enough to get on that tower of twisted metal.

Here's another shot:

HEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLL to the nah!!!

BUT, I do want some recognition for riding anything at all.  I bravely got on the following:

  
  

Thank you very much.  Even though it was me, Deac, and a bunch of 7year olds, I still feel pretty damn good about the whole thing.   Yay me. Oh - and the only crap I ingested was half a bag of cotton candy, a chili-cheese dog, and some fries.  Not that bad, all things considered...

Oh yeah - Deac did NOT win me a prize (lame-o!), but he DID pay for me to have my age guessed by some pimple-faced 17 year old.  I knew that was a sure-fire winner, seeing as most people guess that I'm about 25.  Can't complain about that!   And, I got a super cute stuffed turtle out of the deal. :)

Third: gLee!!!!!!

It's back tomorrow!  I will likely miss it because of work, but that's why God invented DVR. :) CAN'T. WAIT.

Fourth: Sex & The City - Arabian Nights


No good can come of this: http://jezebel.com/5513261/new-sex--the-city-trailer-arabian-nights-redux

Final: Man, Kendra got FAT


As I am wrapping up, an episode of Kendra is on (Pretty Wild having ended at the top of the hour).  It's the episode where she goes to the Super Bowl, and incidentally does this photo shoot:

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuullllllllllllllll Shit.  There is an astronomical amount of airbrushing in that pic.  Actually, i think there's just a flat-out body-double (at least from just below the boobs down).  She was a CHUNK in this photo shoot.  Did NOT look like this.  Not even close.

This is more like it (and incidentally was taken on March 28):

And there is NOTHING wrong with that.  She had a HUGE baby in December.  But, there is something wrong with that OK! shoot.  I mean, they're presenting her as a diet guru - getting her body back at warp speed.  That's just a lie.  Let her be fat and happy - who cares?  She still looks great.  And her kid is CUTE.  That's all that matters!

Alright, I'm working now.  I hope you've enjoyed this Monday installment of Random Thoughts Thursday!

Randomly yours,

Kristen

Random's Manifest - Thursday Thoughts (A Little Late...)

Let's all pretend it's still Thursday, shall we?

Chock Full 'O Chocolate 

Made it to the Soiree last night (albeit after getting lost and arriving more than a little late...), and had a great time!  There was a silent and a live auction, which served to make me wish (more than I already do) that I was rich.  It's crazy to watch people haphazardly throw down thousands of dollars like it's nothing.  Shit - I can barely pay my power bill!  But, I did get caught up in the "fever" and raise that temptress of a bidding card in order to sponsor a family of four, so they can go to the Museum any time they want for a year.  A hundred dollars well spent, I guess... 

There was a great turnout and I think the Museum raised a lot of money.  It was fun!  I can't wait for the First "Birthday" Party they are throwing this summer.  More black tie goodness with the Children's Museum of the Upstate!  

My eyes itch, my throat hurts, and my car is yellow.  Damn you pollen! 

'Nuf said.

Bye, Bye Betty   

So, I've been watching Ugly Betty since it started several years ago (I'm too lazy to look up just how many).  Sadly, it is going off the air next week.  :(  I will miss it!  Mainly because Mark and Amanda are SO funny.  A special salute goes out to Mark, as he went with the Duckie Dale look for Hilda's wedding.  It was subtle - but awesome.  I wonder how many people caught that... 

   <--- Mark 

Duckie ---> 

"May I admire you?"

Silly Government!  Timeliness is for competent people!

So I've alluded to the fact that I deal with Federal tax credits.  Well, the government announced yesterday that the credit I work with most has been released, and applications for allocations of those credits are due JUNE 2.  That's six weeks from now, folks.  Normally, you get 3-4 months.  They take roughly 350 hours to complete.  We may prep as many as 10 of them.  There are about five people prepping.  You do the math. 

If I'm not around that much in the coming weeks, you know why... 

Playlist Du Jour

I get 10 free song credits per month with my Zune pass.  Here's what I'm buying with them this month (so far): 

1. Breakeven - The Script
2. Ultraviolet - Luke McMaster 
3. Foundations - Kate Nash
4. Golden Skans - Klaxons 
5. Lost Coastlines - Okkervil River
6. Captain America - moe. 
7. Float On - Modest Mouse 

I need three more.  Any suggestions?? 

HELL no!  I won't go! 

As aforementioned, my life is going to suck for about six weeks - from yesterday on.  So, I can't make it to see Deac this weekend.  Because he's the generous sort, he's en route to visit me instead, so that I might also get some work done while we hang out.  But, this thoughtful compromise comes at a price.  I have to accompany Deac to the local amusement park tomorrow.  

Something you should know about me - I HATE ROLLER COASTERS.  I am NOT a thrill seeker, by any means.  It's dangerous enough that I live in my own body!  I'm surprised I'm still standing with the way I drive.   And walk, for that matter...  I will jump a crazy horse over a 4-foot fence, but that's as far as my risk-taking goes.  

Yet, I agreed.

Amusement parks have some redeeming qualities, however.  Funnel cakes, for example.  And Dippin' Dots.  And Cotton Candy.  So, while Deac is riding this: 

I will look like this: 

(Thanks to Hyperbole and a Half - from whom I stole this image)

And I told Deac he has to win me some lame carnival prize on a game of some sort.  I'll report back on his success (or failure)... 

Alright - off to the rest of the day.  Hope you're all FABU!  

Love and Rockets!  (I really hope they bring back My Life as Liz, btw...) 

K

---

A sampling from the playlist.  Enjoy!! 

---

PS - Welcome new followers, and thanks for following! And commenting! You guys are awesome! :)

We Are the World - Wednesday

Time for a shot of philanthropy!!!  

This week's do-gooder is none other than my old pal, Tim!!!  You've read his Facebook statuses and laughed your ass off.  Now it's time to get to know his heroic side! 

Why am I featuring Tim, you ask?  Well, because he ROCKS!  And, he's decided to become a FEARLESS firefighter!!  What a job, folks.  I don't know how he does it.  But, I guess he's no stranger to heroism - Tim used to be a frickin' Marine, for goodness sake!  Saving lives is second nature!  

I asked Tim send me an email answering a couple of quick questions.  Here are his responses: 

Q: Why did you want to become a firefighter?

A: I wanted to be a firefighter because it's a pretty sweet job. You get to help people and you only work every third day.

Q: What was the "interview" like?  (If you call it that...)

A: The interview process sucked. It consisted of 8 steps, including a polygraph, a psychological interview, both written and oral, interviews by a couple of firefighters just to make sure they would want to be stationed with you...it's a long freacking process.

Q: How's training going?  (Tim's in the middle of the training process.  From the sounds of it, it's grueling.  His FB status yesterday: "I just had the toughest day of my life...so far...")

A: I have a blister the size of a quarter on each heel.  Training sucks. They try to intimidate you through yelling and playing mind games, but I have been through that before being in the marine corps, so I think it's actually kind of funny. They think they are going to break me but it's not going to happen.

Q: When are you done with training? 

A: Mid-July I think. Can't wait!!! But then starts the 16 weeks of EMT school   But when that's over, I'll be a firefighter/EMT.

Q: Are you regretting your decision? 

A:  Not at all, just looking forward to training being over. That's all.

Q: What are you looking forward to most about being a firefighter? 

A: Fighting fires.

Me: HA!

So, there you have it.  Inspiring words from a man who knows how to save lives.  Good stuff.  Let's all cross our fingers and say a little prayer for Tim - that he gets through training and can get to work!  

In the meantime, Tim - WE SALUTE YOU!!! 

Hey Ya!

HELL YEAH!!!


I got home from work last night a little after midnight, and decided to check the mail, since I STILL had not received my test scores from the most dreadful of CPA exam sections - Financial.  Sure enough, there was the envelope from the state CPA board (where the BITCH works...).  When you fail a section (and I know this from MUCH personal experience), the board will print a matrix on the back of the score sheet that shows your weak areas vis a vis that section's material.  Generally, I am weak in pretty much every area, on every test.  And, I know I've failed before I even unfold the score sheet because they fold them with the matrix facing out.  Nice of them, huh?


HOWEVER - this time, the back of the sheet was blank.

BLANK.

 Yes,

   

BLANK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

There must be some mistake, I thought to myself as I unfolded the watermarked (so I know it wasn't an April Fool's Joke!) paper.  But, NO!  NO MISTAKE!!  They hadn't just inadvertently forgotten my Matrix o' Weaknesses!  

That's right, folks!  Against all odds, and contrary to every assumption off of which I'd been running, I passed Financial.  The longest, most miserable section of the world's most hellacious exam.  That means I'm 3 down, 1 to go.  And the 1 to go is the shortest and easiest section!  I know, if I study the way I did for this last one, I will pass it just fine.  Then, I will be: 

Kristen, JD, CPA

And after this summer, when my AMAZING law school professor - who's so selflessly helping me out right now - finds me a tutor for the bar exam, I'll be: 

Kristen, Esq., CPA

Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it??  

So, today at Musical Musings, I salute myself!  And honor myself with one of my most favoritest songs and videos EVER...  

I Never Won a Grammy, but...

I have won THREE - count 'em - THREE blogger awards now!  BOY, do I feel loved!  You may remember the first award (see We Rock) from Karen at Fiction for Dessert (Thanks again, Karen!  You're awesome!!!).

Now, I've gotten awards #2 and #3!  In the same day!!

So, yeah, it's the same award, but I got it from two different bloggers who I ABSOLUTELY LOVE!  Yay me!!  My first...

 

...comes from your favorite fowl and mine - CHICKEN!  From the hilarious blog The Chicken's Consigliere. Check her out.  She's silly and fun and makes me smile EVERY DAY!  Chicken had this to say about Musical Musings: 

Second up is Stolen Sentiments aka Musical Musings because she reminds us of the cutest, most playful puppy you've ever seen, always leaving the greatest comments and once she left us a Fiesta, people, which charmed the socks off us.

How sweet is that?  I feel so loved.  (So loved, in fact, that a smiley pancake is in order...)




My second...

...comes from CRAZY Becca over at NeuroticGirl.  You will note that Becca received an award from me when I got my first award (again, see We Rock), but I don't think she realized it.  So - Becca - check out your award!  (I didn't know Chicken then, or she would've been on there, too, for sure.)  And you, readers, check out Becca, because she's funny and nuts and just inappropriate enough to be utterly fantastic.

Becca picked me because:

Stolen Sentiments, a fellow musical muser and loyal follower of mine (thanks for hanging around!);

Thanks Becca!  And you're welcome.  You never fail to make me laugh out loud.  (And Dalia never fails to scare me, just a little...)

Now, as with any great honor, this one comes with responsibilities.  The first is to bestow the award upon five other awesome blogs.  Easy enough!!!

1. Chicken.  I know this is cheating, since I don't think you're supposed to give an award back to the person who gave it to you.  However, as per usual, I found a way to circumvent the rules.  So, I'm giving one of my allotments from Becca's award to Chicken.  Chicken - You're beautiful, Birdie!
2. Becca.  Yep - using the same tactics to award Becca another one.  Funny, funny stuff, and well-deserving. 
3. Sam.  Apparently, I inspired my friend Sam's personal blog, The Answers are Simple.  She's funny and cute and NEEDS TO WRITE MORE!!  And, she's my best publicist!  I love you, Sam!!  
4. Katie.  Another person inspired by Musical Musings!  Wow!  I feel so powerful!  Check out Words by Katie!  It's inspirational and sweet, and she has a really cute layout.  
5. Living Shallow, Living Well.  At a blog of the same name.  She's pee-in-your-pants funny.  My favorite post: Census 2010.  
6. (Yes, I know.  The rules say five.  Well, I'm a rule-breaker, remember?  Get over it.) Miss Morgan.  She found me and I in turn found her.  It's thanks to her that I now know the joy of 2001: A Drunk Odyssey.  Her posts have gotten me through some long nights.  Visit her over at Comedy or Tragedy?

The second responsibility that comes with a fabulous award such as this is to list seven things about yourself that your readers can't get from your blog.  Well, I covered a lot in my About Me, but here's some more obscure Kristen Facts: 

1. I started riding horses when I was 10 years old, at summer camp.  I haven't ridden for the past year or so because I'm poor, but it's my biggest passion.  I'm hoping to adopt a horse later this year (maybe this one), if I ever get a raise... 
2. I have a Bachelor's degree in Spanish, but I can barely remember a word of it.  Pathetic.
3. At the risk of alienating myself from everyone else out there, I'll admit that I don't like Lady Gaga.  I saw her open for the New Kids on the Block (I'll have to do a whole post on that, later...) and she was HORRIBLE.  Now when I look at her, I can't get that image out of my head...
4. If I could have one wish, it would be to have been born in 1949.  That would've made me just the right age for the Beatles, Woodstock, Kennedy, Civil Rights, and everything in between. 
5. I used to be smart.  I was even labeled as "gifted" when I was a child.  Who would've thunk it?  
6. My nickname in high school was "Princess".  It was given to me by my creative writing professor because I refused to write in anything but purple pen.  When she tried to convince me to use black, like everyone else, she told me: "To write in black is to write with authority."  I replied: "But, to write in purple is to write with royalty."  It stuck...  
7. My desk is cluttered but psychotically tidy, but my bedroom and car are both a total wreck.  

Well, I've met all of my obligations!  So, on to the rest of the day.  Feeling just a little more beautiful... 

We Are the World - Wednesday

HOW in the hizzell is it already Wednesday??  Wow, I'm behind this week.  Well, alas, it is in fact Hump Day, which means you must endure my goody-two-shoes side for the day.   Yep, that's right!  It's...

Today's homegrown hero:  He ain't just bringing SexyBack, ladies.  This Hip Hop Kid is also making quite a difference out there in our great big world.  Yep, you guessed it!  I'm talking about none other than...

Apparently, J.T. isn’t just hilarious, super-talented, and absolutely adorable -- he’s also quite the philanthropist!  I know this story is old news, but raising nearly $9.3 million for the Shriners Hospital in 2009 still deserves some WATW props.  Justin topped The Daily Beast’s 2009 list of charitable celebrities by hosting his annual charity golf tournament, giving a benefit concert with Taylor Swift and TLC, and appearing in a plethora of print and television ads.  Here’s what the DB had to say for all of J.T.’s do-goodery:

#1, Justin Timberlake

Charity: Shriners Hospital for Children 
Annual Impact: $9,262,381 

Talk about powerful branding. Timberlake’s name appeared alongside Shriners in over 1,000 newspapers or magazines over the last two years thanks to the Justin Timberlake Shriners Hospital for Kids Open, an annual Las Vegas golf event televised on the Golf Channel. He also headed up a benefit concert for the organization this fall, and got fellow pop stars Taylor Swift and TLC in on the act, though he hasn’t yet been spotted wearing the famous Shriners fez. 

Breakdown: TV ($617,981), Print ($8,625,000), Internet ($19,400), Personal donations (undisclosed)

For those of you who might not know, the Shriners Hospitals for Children is a network of 22 hospitals across the country, dedicated to providing care for “thousands of kids with orthopedic conditions, burns, spinal cord injuries, and cleft lip and palate, in a family-centered environment with NO FINANCIAL OBLIGATION to patients or families.”  That’s pretty incredible – all services, free of charge.  No wonder J.T.’s efforts have made such an impact!  Click below for more info on the Shriners. 

Way to go, Justin! We here at Musical Musings (yes, I know that’s just me) SALUTE YOU!  Keep up the good work!  And the great music!  And the even better comedy!  And the most adorable smile…  

DEEEEEELICIOUS...

Drive My Car

Yesterday’s "Salute of the Day" (Look to your right - I change that every day.  You may not have noticed.) was dedicated to Deac, and he missed it.  He is distraught, and I think a little suspicious as to whether I actually did salute him.  So, to mollify the Deac-ster, here is yesterday's Salute, in PERMANENT form: 

Deac. For teaching me to drive a stick (sort of), after 31 years of never learning how.  

There you go, Deac my dear.  I (permanently) Salute You!  

Southland in the Springtime

It's this time of year when I'm most grateful to be a Dixie Princess.  

It's so beautiful right now!  Warm, sunny, flowers, birds.  If there wasn't a Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man sized cloud of yellow that turns me into a human snot/sneeze factory for 3 months, I'd probably be the happiest disgruntled person alive.  

So, a little tribute to you, Spring.  Here are some of my favorite things about my favorite season: 

1. Daffodils.  They're just pretty.   
2. Longer days.  It's easier to leave work late if there's still hope of daylight when you get out.
3. Sunshine.  And the fact that, if I spend some time in it, I might not look like a vampire.  (And not the sexy Cullen variety - more like the pasty, terminally ill kind.) 
4. Tax Refunds.  If I ever get around to doing my taxes, I will enjoy receiving a refund of my hard-earned money - which the government has been spending, interest-free, for the past year. 
5. Morning songbirds.  What a lovely way to wake up.  (If only they were effective enough to replace my two wretched alarm clocks.) 
6. Weekend getaways.  
7. No more wool coats.
8. Festivals and farmer's markets.  Looking forward to some outdoor shopping.
9. The end of mandatory overtime (April 15, BABY!)   
10. Spring colored clothing.  And being able to wear dresses with sandals again. 

  

Welcome Back, Spring!  WE HEART YOU!!!  

---

Maybe we'll make Texas by the morning
Light the bayou with our tail lights in the night
800 miles to el paso from the state line
And we never have the money for the flight

I'm in the back seat sleepy from the travel
Played our hearts out all night long in New Orleans
I'm dirty from the diesel fumes, drinking coffee black
When the first breath of Texas comes in clean

And there's something 'bout the Southland in the springtime
Where the waters flow with confidence and reason
Though I miss her when I'm gone it won't ever be too long
Till I'm home again to spend my favorite season
When God made me born a yankee he was teasin'
There's no place like home and none more pleasin'
Than the Southland in the springtime

In Georgia nights are softer than a whisper
Beneath a quilt somebody's mother made by hand
With the farmland like a tapestry passed down through generations
And the peach trees stitched across the land
There'll be cider up near Helen off the roadside
And boiled peanuts in a bag to warm your fingers
And the smoke from the chimneys meets its maker in the sky
With a song that winter wrote whose melody lingers

And there's something 'bout the Southland in the springtime
Where the waters flow with confidence and reason
Though I miss her when I'm gone it won't ever be too long
Till I'm home again to spend my favorite season
When God made me born a yankee he was teasin'

There's no place like home 
and none more pleasin'
Than the Southland in the Springtime

-Indigo Girls