Every Picture Tells A Story

My, Oh My, peeps - has this been a crazy couple of weeks!  (That almost rhymes.)  I thought about debriefing you all on the myriad of events that have taken place since I posted my masterful mixes last week, but then I realized I'd prefer it if you all kept reading my blog.  I still want to tell my story, but I figure since the average blog reader has the blogging attention span of a pre-schooler (or, maybe that's just me), it might be more entertaining to tell my story in pictures.  You can interpret them how you like: 


(Oh, I will tell you that the GORGEOUS baby boy is my new nephew Logan - born last Thursday.  He's perfect!)


(And - some of these pictures come right out of email conversations between NewB and me, which often contain funny images that sum up our goings on.)

(Disclaimer: All of the following images are stolen from other sites.  Thanks to Allie at Hyperbole & a Half and all the others from whom NewB and I pilfered.)

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(I half expected to see this guy pop out from some dark corner:) 

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Me: 


Blah, I am just terrible today…

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NewB: 

Figure 2: Life worth living

Figure 3: Soul crushing disappointment

My favorite part.

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Me: 

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NewB: 

I’m guessing figure 2 is me and you and figure 3 is just you now?

Here’s a couple for you J

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The End. 

Random's Manifest - Thursday Thoughts

Hello boys and girls! 


Last I checked, it's Thursday!  And you know what that means!!!!!

Shall we begin? 

Ice Cream Man!  

That's pretty much all I have to say about that.  Like clockwork, EVERY SINGLE DAY - rain, sleet, hail, snow - it doesn't matter.  The ice cream man is a helluva lot more reliable than the mail-persons around here.  I think he might be a front for something.  Drug ring?  Maybe.  More likely though, he's a Narc hired by the homeowner's association.  I swear, those people never miss a violation.  If I'm an hour late in getting my trashcan inside?  Nastygram.  Wreath with a red bow up the week after Christmas?  Nastygram.  Friend parked on the curb?  Nastygram (and sometimes a big sticker on their windshield).  Pretty clever when you think about it.  What better way to spy on your friends and neighbors than by selling their kids sugar-laden goods?  

So Much for That Plan!  

Diet?  What diet?  I know I'm not dieting!  Or, at least you'd never know it by what I've consumed in the last 48 hours!  Work trips are kryptonite for dieting.  Corporate Amex + delicious restaurants + tired Kristen = 5,000 calories.  I used up all of my bonus points for the week and then some on several delicious meals.  The good thing?  I'm STILL full, so I think I can skip dinner tonight.  Maybe I'll be able to resist temptation over the weekend, too, since I didn't just whet my appetite, I drenched it... 

Much Too Young to Feel This Damn Old 

I am 32.  You all know this.  However, I am blessed to be able to say that most people never guess a day over 25 - at the oldest.  (Okay, maybe 27 once or twice...)  No wrinkles to speak of and not a grey hair in sight.  And I have one of those "baby" (read, fat) faces that allows me to keep a "youthful glow".  So why am I bitching?  That would be because of the waddle.  No, not this kind of waddle: 

Rather, this kind of waddle: 

As aforementioned, I have a plump face.  But now, I have this THING hanging down where no chin should be!  Hot damn!  I did NOT sign on for this!  

You know I don't post pictures of myself.  For privacy reasons, and because I LOATHE pictures.  But to be fair, please know that I do NOT look like this: 

Or this: 

Or, heaven forbid, this: 

(THANK GOD!!  And for a multitude of reasons!) 

But, I am starting to look a little bit like this: 

So, dear readers, what in the world can I do about it??  Despite my weakness for As-Seen-On-TV exercise equipment, I'm not to the place in my life where I will be pressing "Pay Now" on these items any time soon:

    

(Well... Maybe just that last one...)

But, I am on the lookout for DIY exercises that actually work!  Anybody know of any?  If so, please enlighten me.  (But, no, I do NOT need to hear how the aforementioned break in my diet might be directly correlated with my chicken-chin, thank you very much.  I am well aware.) 

The Moment You've Been Waiting For!!!!

If you look to your right, you'll notice that I am up to 39 followers.  Better, but not best.  Since I am certainly not above bribery and groveling, I have decided that it's time for Musical Musings' VERY FIRST 

That's right!  Free stuff!  WOOT!!!! 

I'm not telling you the details just yet - but know that it will be AWESOME (of course).  So, recruit followers!  When there's fifty of you guys over there, I'll announce the killer prizes and the rules for entry!  (Don't worry, it won't be difficult.)  I know you're on the edges of your seats!

Gee, I hope I Don't Get Fired! 

I was supposed to be at a dinner/awards ceremony this evening.  However, I was out of town for work. So, I had to drive back home rather quickly in order to make it on time.  Note, I did not want to go to the banquet.  They are boring.  On the other hand, I DID want to go to the Coach outlet that's on my way home from the client location.  If people in my state could drive, I would've been able to do both.  However, due to a broken-down tractor trailer, street paving at the most inopportune time imaginable (5:30 pm), and people who can't seem to understand that they post those "Slow Down, Paving Ahead" signs for a reason, my two-hour drive quickly turned to three.  Needless to say, I didn't make it to the banquet.  But, I do now own these: 

  

Assuming I don't get fired for missing the banquet (we weren't getting an award or anything, we just had a table and no butts to go in the seats), I think it was well worth it.  

Alrighty kiddos, with that, I am off.  Hope you've had a fabulous Thursday and are super-psyched for Friday!  

Hasta pasta! 

K$

Days Like This

Wow, what a week.  It's been a bit of a nightmare.  And today - well, ever had one of those days where you can't get ANYTHING right?  That's today.  At least it's pretty much over.  Family drama, work, travel, emails from The Ex, stomach bug, exhaustion...


But, I've survived.


Instead of delving into all that has made this week a total bitch, I've decided to list the positives:

• My biopsy results from my procedure are normal.  Yay!
• It wasn't my external hard-drive that was fried, just its cord.  And I had an extra cord lying around.
• I got my replacement PDA, so I'm not stuck with the piece of shit LG Incite. 
• My little brother got to play varsity baseball, even though he's only a freshman. 
• Despite the fact that I mailed my taxes at the VERY last second, I had an extremely pleasant experience at the post office. 
• I made it home safely from my many hours on the road. 
• All of my coworkers made it home safely from their respective flights. 
• I've learned a lot about some cool stuff. 
• The weather is fabulous. 
• Deac is understanding. 
• My grandfather doesn't have to have surgery (part of the family drama). 
• Tax season is over. 
• I am going to the beach next weekend, come hell or high water. 
• Today is pay day. 
• I ordered my new laptop.  It'll be here next week. 
• I found the cutest wallet ever at Target. 
• The emails from The Ex didn't upset me.  Rather, they made me appreciate stress-free dating. (Thank you, Deac.)

What good stuff has happened to all of you this week?  

Monday, Monday

So, here I am, chillin' at the desk in my hotel room, dining on salmon and rissotto, and watching Pretty Wild on E!.  Sounds pretty awesome, huh?  Well, sort of.  This is the good part about working all the time and travelling for work.  When the salmon - and this post - are done, it's back to work.  Gotta love dining on the road, though!

Feeling random today so, even though it isn't Thursday, thought I'd share some random thoughts.  Or, random updates, if you will.

First: The Stinky Dog 

Sadly, he has cancer. :(  But, he's doing okay for now, and that's all that we can ask for.  Please keep the prayers coming, and fingers crossed that he keeps feeling okay and is with us for as long as comfortably possible.  We love him so.

Second: Adventures at the Amusement Park

Deac gets some serious props for actually riding the monstrosity I pictured in my prior post.  Holy crap, that thing was scary.  And FRICKIN' HUGE!!!!  You couldn't pay me enough to get on that tower of twisted metal.

Here's another shot:

HEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLL to the nah!!!

BUT, I do want some recognition for riding anything at all.  I bravely got on the following:

  
  

Thank you very much.  Even though it was me, Deac, and a bunch of 7year olds, I still feel pretty damn good about the whole thing.   Yay me. Oh - and the only crap I ingested was half a bag of cotton candy, a chili-cheese dog, and some fries.  Not that bad, all things considered...

Oh yeah - Deac did NOT win me a prize (lame-o!), but he DID pay for me to have my age guessed by some pimple-faced 17 year old.  I knew that was a sure-fire winner, seeing as most people guess that I'm about 25.  Can't complain about that!   And, I got a super cute stuffed turtle out of the deal. :)

Third: gLee!!!!!!

It's back tomorrow!  I will likely miss it because of work, but that's why God invented DVR. :) CAN'T. WAIT.

Fourth: Sex & The City - Arabian Nights


No good can come of this: http://jezebel.com/5513261/new-sex--the-city-trailer-arabian-nights-redux

Final: Man, Kendra got FAT


As I am wrapping up, an episode of Kendra is on (Pretty Wild having ended at the top of the hour).  It's the episode where she goes to the Super Bowl, and incidentally does this photo shoot:

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuullllllllllllllll Shit.  There is an astronomical amount of airbrushing in that pic.  Actually, i think there's just a flat-out body-double (at least from just below the boobs down).  She was a CHUNK in this photo shoot.  Did NOT look like this.  Not even close.

This is more like it (and incidentally was taken on March 28):

And there is NOTHING wrong with that.  She had a HUGE baby in December.  But, there is something wrong with that OK! shoot.  I mean, they're presenting her as a diet guru - getting her body back at warp speed.  That's just a lie.  Let her be fat and happy - who cares?  She still looks great.  And her kid is CUTE.  That's all that matters!

Alright, I'm working now.  I hope you've enjoyed this Monday installment of Random Thoughts Thursday!

Randomly yours,

Kristen