Every Picture Tells A Story

My, Oh My, peeps - has this been a crazy couple of weeks!  (That almost rhymes.)  I thought about debriefing you all on the myriad of events that have taken place since I posted my masterful mixes last week, but then I realized I'd prefer it if you all kept reading my blog.  I still want to tell my story, but I figure since the average blog reader has the blogging attention span of a pre-schooler (or, maybe that's just me), it might be more entertaining to tell my story in pictures.  You can interpret them how you like: 


(Oh, I will tell you that the GORGEOUS baby boy is my new nephew Logan - born last Thursday.  He's perfect!)


(And - some of these pictures come right out of email conversations between NewB and me, which often contain funny images that sum up our goings on.)

(Disclaimer: All of the following images are stolen from other sites.  Thanks to Allie at Hyperbole & a Half and all the others from whom NewB and I pilfered.)

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(I half expected to see this guy pop out from some dark corner:) 

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Me: 


Blah, I am just terrible today…

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NewB: 

Figure 2: Life worth living

Figure 3: Soul crushing disappointment

My favorite part.

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Me: 

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NewB: 

I’m guessing figure 2 is me and you and figure 3 is just you now?

Here’s a couple for you J

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The End. 

Waist So Skinny - Mondays

  Better this week, but barely... 


Weight: -0.1 lbs
Times Exercised (If you count the two days of yard-work I did, which, I do...): 2
Days I Tracked Points: 0 
Splurges: A lot 


To give myself credit, I had to overcome some outstanding obstacles this week in order to NOT balloon up like the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man.  And, so as to rationalize my paltry performance (at least to myself), I shall regale you with the list of those obstacles: 


Odds Defied; Week Five:


1. I was traveling again for work.  To the extraordinarily depressing town of Reading, PA.  
2. In said hell-hole I found an incredible little diner that served a delightful French Combo.  Brie omelet with pumpkin bread French Toast?  Yes, please!
3. I got sworn into the State Bar (yay, me!) and celebrated over a Melting Pot feast. 
4. I drank YET ANOTHER Chick-fil-a milkshake while running errands.  (Hmm... I guess this doesn't really count as a defied odd, but rather a flat-out failure...) 
5. I was insanely tired.  
6. New Boy (we shall call him, NewB) is quite distracting.
7. So is really crappy TV.


Yet, despite my ridiculous caloric intake, infinite distractions, and intense level of sleep deprivation, I still managed to lose! Imagine what I could do if I actually put my mind to it... 

Life in a Nutshell

It's been a rough few weeks.  It's also been a very long time since I've told a story with songs.  (Check out my first AND last attempt: http://stolensentiments.blogspot.com/2010/02/somebody-to-love.html).  So, instead of boring you with the details, I'll do what I do best and steal someone else's words to tell you (in no particular order) what's happened lately with relationships, exam results, work, and life in general.  Enjoy!  (If you don't listen to anything else, PLEASE watch the Disgruntled Employee Song.  Priceless...)

I Want Candy

Alright, alright.  I know.  I'm well aware of my shortcomings - specifically my inability to follow through on ANYTHING.  The Happiness Project? (See: Back in Black) Yeah... It's no more.  At least for now.  I had the epiphany that it was going to be damn-near impossible to embark on a year-long journey to a euphoric state of happy bliss when I am TOTALLY. UNBELIEVABLY. BURNT. OUT.  I think I probably need to deal with that before I dive in to life improvement, don't you?

So, I'm now undertaking Dr. Frank Lipman's (check out Spent? End Exhaustion and Feel Great Again)  6-week program to recover from the diabolical disorder he coined "Spent".  And ladies and gents, I AM SPENT.  Boy-howdy am I spent...

The Six-Week "Revive" Program entails the following:

• Week One: Nourish 
• Week Two: Move
• Week Three: Adapt 
• Week Four: Release 
• Week Five: Balance
• Week Six: Sustain 

Doesn't sound too hard, right?  (Well - except for that whole "moving" thing.  We all know how good I am at actually exercising...)  I would be more than thrilled to focus on rebuilding my immune system, learning to go to bed at a reasonable hour, and even moving my lazy ass from time to time, if weren't for one thing: in Lipman's mind, "Nourish" is synonymous with GIVING UP SUGAR.  And don't just mean giving up the half a bag of marshmallows I've historically (and regularly) consumed in one sitting.  I mean giving up ALL sugar.  Lipman suggests cooking hot muselix sans sweet and using agave syrup in place of white sugar, brown sugar, raw sugar, cane sugar, or basically all sugar of any kind. 

I think that's a load of horse-doody.  NO WAY am I going to be able to give up sugar completely.  But, I've resolved to come pretty damn close...  

Thank God I'm at least allowed to have fruit.  But people, in case you wondered, fruit is NOT a cookie.  It is NOT a piece of fudgy cake.  Nor is it a candy bar, a brownie, a handful of Pretzel M&Ms, or my most recent obsession - a thick, creamy milkshake.  It's fruit.  Boring, lame, unsatisfying fruit.  Sigh.

Lipman says that the first three days of the sugar detox are the worst.  I have headaches, lack of concentration, and hunger pangs to look forward to.  Joy.  But the person I feel the worst for isn't actually myself - it's  Boss-Man Jr., who made a surprise visit to work on some clients with me and Boss-Man Sr.  He gets to witness the hysteria and pure evil that are apparently going to start spewing out of me in about T-minus-12 hours.  Poor, poor BMJ.  I've already preemptively apologized for anything I might do or say during his short visit to the Sunny South.  Let's hope I don't get fired... 

Well kids, off to make some appetite suppressant tea and watch Brenda Leigh - another woman who knows the pain of sugar withdrawal. God love her.

If I survive Day One, I'll regale you with my Trash Talkin' about Saved by the Bell's extraordinarily unrealistic and age-inappropriate relationships.  I know you can't wait.  

Hasta,  

SS