I Want Candy

Alright, alright.  I know.  I'm well aware of my shortcomings - specifically my inability to follow through on ANYTHING.  The Happiness Project? (See: Back in Black) Yeah... It's no more.  At least for now.  I had the epiphany that it was going to be damn-near impossible to embark on a year-long journey to a euphoric state of happy bliss when I am TOTALLY. UNBELIEVABLY. BURNT. OUT.  I think I probably need to deal with that before I dive in to life improvement, don't you?

So, I'm now undertaking Dr. Frank Lipman's (check out Spent? End Exhaustion and Feel Great Again)  6-week program to recover from the diabolical disorder he coined "Spent".  And ladies and gents, I AM SPENT.  Boy-howdy am I spent...

The Six-Week "Revive" Program entails the following:

• Week One: Nourish 
• Week Two: Move
• Week Three: Adapt 
• Week Four: Release 
• Week Five: Balance
• Week Six: Sustain 

Doesn't sound too hard, right?  (Well - except for that whole "moving" thing.  We all know how good I am at actually exercising...)  I would be more than thrilled to focus on rebuilding my immune system, learning to go to bed at a reasonable hour, and even moving my lazy ass from time to time, if weren't for one thing: in Lipman's mind, "Nourish" is synonymous with GIVING UP SUGAR.  And don't just mean giving up the half a bag of marshmallows I've historically (and regularly) consumed in one sitting.  I mean giving up ALL sugar.  Lipman suggests cooking hot muselix sans sweet and using agave syrup in place of white sugar, brown sugar, raw sugar, cane sugar, or basically all sugar of any kind. 

I think that's a load of horse-doody.  NO WAY am I going to be able to give up sugar completely.  But, I've resolved to come pretty damn close...  

Thank God I'm at least allowed to have fruit.  But people, in case you wondered, fruit is NOT a cookie.  It is NOT a piece of fudgy cake.  Nor is it a candy bar, a brownie, a handful of Pretzel M&Ms, or my most recent obsession - a thick, creamy milkshake.  It's fruit.  Boring, lame, unsatisfying fruit.  Sigh.

Lipman says that the first three days of the sugar detox are the worst.  I have headaches, lack of concentration, and hunger pangs to look forward to.  Joy.  But the person I feel the worst for isn't actually myself - it's  Boss-Man Jr., who made a surprise visit to work on some clients with me and Boss-Man Sr.  He gets to witness the hysteria and pure evil that are apparently going to start spewing out of me in about T-minus-12 hours.  Poor, poor BMJ.  I've already preemptively apologized for anything I might do or say during his short visit to the Sunny South.  Let's hope I don't get fired... 

Well kids, off to make some appetite suppressant tea and watch Brenda Leigh - another woman who knows the pain of sugar withdrawal. God love her.

If I survive Day One, I'll regale you with my Trash Talkin' about Saved by the Bell's extraordinarily unrealistic and age-inappropriate relationships.  I know you can't wait.  

Hasta,  

SS 

Tell Me Why - Wednesday

Yep - It's another Wednesday.  And, yet again, I'm confused.  La pregunta del dia is: WHY AM I STILL AWAKE???  I'm supposed to be working on my energy level this month as part of my Happiness Project, but I haven't exactly been following the Project guidelines.  This month they are: 

1. GO TO BED at a decent hour (like 10:30) 
2. GET OUT OF BED at a decent hour (like 6:30) 
3. Exercise - not every day for hours, but a doable 4x/week for 20 minutes. 
4. Take a multivitamin.  

Well, it's the 4th.  How many of those things have done? Even once this month?  NONE.  

I have a ton of work to do, a test to study for, a house to clean, and a trip for which I need to pack (LOOOONG overdue beach weekend with Deac - to celebrate the end of these miserable exams).  Despite this freakishly long list of chores, I am sitting on my couch, blogging to you, and watching Y&R.  I am too tired to do stuff, so I should go to bed and get a fresh, early start tomorrow, right?  

Which brings me back to my original question - WHY AM I STILL UP???  

I need to go to bed... 

(Thanks again to Hyperbole and a Half - my favorite blog of the day - for letting me steal (without permission)  brilliant drawings.)  

We Are the World - Wednesday

Happy Hump Day!  Since I am back to the wonderful world of blogging, you get exposed to do-gooding again!  Hooray!  

I am still getting my arse handed to me at work, but I am carving out time in my day to reach out to my wonderful readers.  I'm not, however, doing much else.  That "much else" includes working out.  As I wrote down the auto-draft for the YMCA when I balanced my checkbook, I got to thinking.  First, I thought about how I haven't seen the inside of the Y in something like 2 months, despite my good intentions.  Sigh.  Then, I immediately thought about how my pants are a little snug, as a direct result of said absence from the Y.  Double sigh.  Finally, I just thought about the Y.  It's a pretty cool organization, really.  Christian, non-profit, health conscious.  Good stuff.  But, I realized that I don't really know that much about it.  So, I did some research.  I will now use the handy dandy copy/paste function to impart my newfound wisdom upon you all. 

THE NATION’S 2,686 YMCAs respond to critical social needs by drawing on our collective strength as of one of the largest not-for-profit community service organizations in the United States.

Today’s YMCAs serve thousands of U.S. communities, uniting 21 million children and adults of all ages, races, faiths, backgrounds, abilities and income levels. Our reach and impact can be seen in the millions of lives we touch every year. Across the nation, YMCAs are committed to helping:

• Children and youth deepen positive values, their commitment to service and their motivation to learn

• Families build stronger bonds, spend time together and become more engaged with their communities

• Individuals strengthen their spiritual, mental and physical well-being

At every stage of life, YMCAs are there to help children, families and individuals reach their full potential.

Think that's cool?  Want to know more?  Read on at: http://www.ymca.net/about_the_ymca/.  There are some pretty impressive stats on there.  Including these: 

• Together, YMCAs are the nation’s largest provider of child care, with nearly 10,000 child care sites across the country that provide high-quality, affordable care to more than 500,000 children.
• YMCAs are collectively the nation’s largest providers of health and well-being programs.
• The YMCA is one of the largest volunteer organizations in the world, serving more than 45 million people in 124 countries. Learn more about YMCA World Service.
• 64 million households and 32 million children ages 14 and under live within three miles of a YMCA, while 1,518 YMCAs serve communities where the median family income is below the U.S. average.

Awesome.  It almost makes me want to get up early to hit a pilates class.  Almost.  More likely though - I'll oversleep and make it to work by the skin of my teeth.  

Hey - there's something to be said for good intentions though, right?  

Love ya!