Swimming Upstream

I asked a particularly busy and overwhelmed (much like myself) friend how she was doing.  She said she was swimming upstream.  That's how I feel right now, too.  So much so, that I'm paralyzed into perpetual procrastination.  Here are all of the things I need to fit into the next 7 hours:

1. Bar exam application.
2. Pay my bills (some of which are late).
3. Download study software for section of the CPA exam that I failed (yep, got the results).
4. Study with new software, for at least an hour.
5. Do laundry.
6. Put away laundry.
7. Vacuum up Rupert's hair, that's EVERYWHERE from the scratching.
8. Cancel Rupert's dermatologist appointment, because he IS getting better, and now that I have to take both sections of the exam over again, I can't afford it.
9. Email 6 people back that I've ignored for the past couple of days.
10. Some how try to fit in a yoga class at 4:00.
11. Take shower, so I can show my nasty face in said yoga class.
12. Make time to watch the Closing Ceremonies.

Oh dear.  I better get to work.

  

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Swimming upstream swimming upstream

Fightin' every inch of the way for a poor boy's dream

Things'll get rough times'll get lean

But the only choice you got is to keep swimming upstream

-Ricky Van Shelton

Let's Get Physical

Those of you who know me know that I went on Weight Watchers last year, and was able to lose over 20 lbs.  I dropped from a size 10, to a svelte size 4.  Weight Watchers is amazing, and I'd highly recommend it.


I haven't been on it for a while though, primarily because I'm lazy and didn't stick with it through the holidays, and also because I'm on Adderall now for ADD.  Adderall has the fabulous side effect of significantly decreasing your appetite.  NO, this does NOT mean everyone should run out to get Adderall.  I legitimately suffer from ADD, and it's helping with that.  The weight loss/maintenance is just an added perk.  From what I understand, though, if you don't have ADD and you take Adderall, it can be dangerous and is ineffective, so nobody get any ideas!


Anyway, back to what is probably the real reason I quit WW: LAZINESS.  I have been unmotivated as of late when it comes to my fitness and health.  I look pretty good, and am holding steady at my current size (still a 4), but I am PITIFULLY out of shape.  I need to start exercising again, in a major way.  My energy is low, I'm getting headaches all the time, and I'm less resistant to illness.  I know that is due in large part to my sedentary lifestyle, and my failure to combat the extreme stress I've been under in a constructive way.  


Once I get into the habit of working out, I actually start to like it, and will generally stick with it.  My energy increases, I sleep better, and I feel better overall.  You would think that would be motivation enough to get off my butt then, right?  Nope.  Despite the obvious benefits of exercise, finding the self-discipline to actually develop the habit of working out is damn near impossible (for a lazy person like me, anyway).


Fitness is all around me.  My friends run marathons (Yes, marathons.  I can't run down the hall.  Literally.), teach classes at gyms, take and teach karate, and chase after toddlers all day.  There are blogs I follow that are entirely devoted to fitness, and those blogs that aren't are still partly focused on it.  So, with all of these good influences in my life, why can't I seem to catch the fitness bug?  I need some help in finding my motivation and desire to get in shape again, and more importantly, to FEEL BETTER...

HELP! How do you guys get your rears in gear after a long fitness hiatus?  Any tips on finding my inner fitness junkie?  I could REALLY use your suggestions.  

Deep Purple - Lazy

You’re lazy just stay in bed
You’re lazy just stay in bed
You don’t want no money
You don’t want no bread

If you’re drowning you don’t clutch no straw
If you’re drowning you don’t clutch no straw
You don’t want to live you don’t want to cry no more

Well my trying ain’t done no good
I said my trying ain’t done no good
You don’t make no effort no not like you should

Lazy you just stay in bed
Lazy you just stay in bed
You don’t want no money
You don’t want no bread 

(Still one of the most disturbing videos of ALL TIME)

I Wanna Know

As an avid reader, an overly analytical worrier, and well-educated individual, I would consider myself naturally curious. Here are some things I want to know:

1. Why Starbucks doesn't sell a Tanzanian Peaberry blend.
2. Why organic milk stays fresh so much longer than regular milk.
3. How to pass the CPA exam.
4. If I will finish my application for the Bar exam by the March deadline.
5. How people get incredible jobs (Met a guy at B&N tonight. Works in Investment Banking at Wachoiva/Wells. Probably my age. Great clothes, super nice BMW. From West Africa - so succeeded against all odds. Only has a bachelor's degree. His job kicks my job's ass.)
6. How to make TMJ go away.
7. Why people get TMJ in the first place.
8. How amphetamines help with ADHD. Aren't the kids already hyper? Why would you think to give them speed?
9. How to get people to read my blog so I can monetize it, become famous, and parlay my wit into a fabulous job in journalism.
10. Where the socks go that get eaten by the dryer.
11. Why patio furniture is so frickin' expensive.
12. Where I can find 50s-style/inspired clothes for cheap. (That look like this.)
13. How I can improve my chances of winning the lottery, so I can pay off my mortgage and student loans. (Actually playing the lottery might be a good start.)
14. Why some people survive on around 3 hours of sleep a night, while others (like me) need more like 9.
15. If the movie Valentine's Day will be as funny as it looks, or if it will make me want to slit my wrists.
16. How I can get back into horseback riding, even though I'm broke. (Hunter/Jumper/Equitation. Some dressage. 20 years of experience. Inquire if your horse needs to be ridden.)
17. Why Facebook finds it necessary to change its format every 5 minutes.
18. How to play the guitar.
19. If I'll ever meet "Mr. Right".
20. Why my throat hurts. (I better not be getting sick!)

Enlighten me, oh wise readers, if you have any answers to my perplexing queries.

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In the meantime, for your viewing pleasure:

Working for the Weekend

So, it's 1:38, EST. I have yet to work this weekend. Time for some Adderall, a pot of coffee, and some inspirational tunes. I'll let Zune decide what I hear today, vis a vis my "Stuff I Like" auto-mix. First song up, Grey Street (Lilywhite Sessions Version, that is):

Grey Street - Dave Matthews Band

Look at how she listens
She says nothing of what she thinks
Just listens to abuses
And by the kitchen sink...

She thinks, "Hey!
Why do I live to this?
I'm latest on life
How did it end like this?"
Oh, then the wrongs in her heart fall
And she feels the weight in lies
And the colors mix together to grey
Grey Street

Begging now the difference
She prays to God most everynight
Although she swears He doesn't listen
There's hope in her that He just might

She said, "I Pray!"
"But they fall on deaf ears
I'm supposed to take it all on myself
To get out of this place."

But soon the wrongs in her heart fall
And then she rode the light in
Oh, the pain now seems it's over
And again she sees the pain
And then the colors mix together to grey
On Grey Street

It's all colored in again
Take what you can from your dreams
Make it real as anything
Takes the work out of the courage

She said, "Please!"
"There's someone sleeping outside my door
I live on the corner of Grey Street
And the end of the world."

And the wrong in her whole plan
I as hopeless as the day she came
And the man she calls her father
Ignores her and ignores her pain

Oh, when I walk out in the morning
In all this sunlight
And all the colors mix together to grey
On Grey Street
On Grey Street
It's Grey Street, you go

So, if you don't see your Heaven
Don't convince yourself you're done
Just 'cause the things around you seem heavy
Doesn't mean you can give up this ground

When you hold me down in the heart now
Move out and, oh, the wait is over
Oh, might notice of your worry
One another ... (?)
And the colors mix together to grey
On Grey Street
On Grey Street
To grey...
Yeah, yeah...

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Hmm... So, the auto-mix didn't cut it. Just too depressing today! So, I made a new playlist called Happy Today. Got some fun stuff on there, like this tasty tidbit (which just so happens to perfectly describe me):

Kate Nash - Mouthwash
Uploaded by chloegc. - Sitcom, sketch, and standup comedy videos.

Happy Today mix is much more fun. Too bad it isn't helping with my lack of motivation to work though!

Sick City

Working from home today with the start of a cold (or crying hangover - could be either). About to work on a project for the boss-man, so I'm gearing up with some great tunes in the form of a Panic! at the Disco auto-mix. Here's a snippet. Enjoy!




Things have changed for me, and that's okay

I feel the same, I'm on my way, and I say

Things have changed for me, and that's okay

Plain White Ts - Big Bad World

it's a big bad world
were doing what we can
sometimes we fall on our face
before we even learn to stand
but we get back up
shake off all the dust
and take it step by step

i can fill the whole floor to the cieling
with all the dead wrong choices ive made
and even though we try to learn
from each others mistakes

we'll do it again (doing it again)
we'll do it again my friend (doing it again)
we'll do it again and again
till we eventually can change
the way its always been

it's a big bad dream
following your heart
sometimes the one you
need's the one that tears you apart
so you say goodbye
kiss her one more time
and cry the whole way home

i can fill up the driest river
with all the tears falling off of my face
and even though we try to learn
from each others mistakes

we'll do it again (doing it again)
we'll do it again my friend (doing it again)

we'll do it again and again
till we eventually can change
the way its always been(x2)

just running 'round in circles
tripping over every hurdle
were just trying to do the best that we can

it's a big bad life
all that we can do
is try to make it right
tomorrow something new
so if a big rain cloud
follows you around
dont let it get you down

Downloaded From http://www.6lyrics.com


All American Rejects - The Wind Blows

THE WIND BLOWS lyrics All-american Rejects

I've got to breathe

You can't take that from me

Cause it's all that you left that's mine

You had to leave

And that's all I can see

But you told me your love was blind



There are times

You're so impossible that I should sign a waiver

And you will find

Someone worth walking on when you ask me to go



(Chorus)

I'll leave when the wind blows

Take a breath and there it goes

I'll be outside of your window

I'll pass by but I'll go slow

I'll leave when the wind blows



There was a day

You threw our love away

Then you passed it to someone new

You wanna stay

But since you wanna play

We can finally say we're through



There are times you're so impossible and you ask me to go



(Chorus)

I'll leave when the wind blows

Take a breath and there it goes

I'll be outside of your window

I'll pass by but I'll go slow

I'll leave when the wind blows



You can scream there's just echoes

Pass outside of your window

You'll be sad that you let me go

I'll leave but just know



As I lay in solitude

Oh What's a boy supposed to do

I Shake the very thought of you

Me together, I remember

Late nights when I stayed up late

All I do is wait and wait

You're never coming home to me

That's the hardest thing to see



I got to breathe

You can't take that from me

We can finally say we're through



(Chorus)

I'll leave when the wind blows

Take a breath and there it goes

I'll be outside of your window

I'll pass by but I'll go slow

I'll leave when the wind blows



You can scream there's just echoes

Pass outside of your window

You'll be sad that you let me go

On every face you'll ever know

And everywhere you ever go

You'll feel when the wind blows



LyricsBay  THE WIND BLOWS lyrics All-american Rejects