DISCLAIMER:

The following ramblings are based on real-life experiences, mishaps, and downright screw-ups. Names (of past, present, and future boyfriends) have been changed or omitted to protect the innocent. And the guilty...

Monday, February 8, 2010

I Wanna Know

As an avid reader, an overly analytical worrier, and well-educated individual, I would consider myself naturally curious. Here are some things I want to know:

  1. Why Starbucks doesn't sell a Tanzanian Peaberry blend.
  2. Why organic milk stays fresh so much longer than regular milk.
  3. How to pass the CPA exam.
  4. If I will finish my application for the Bar exam by the March deadline.
  5. How people get incredible jobs (Met a guy at B&N tonight. Works in Investment Banking at Wachoiva/Wells. Probably my age. Great clothes, super nice BMW. From West Africa - so succeeded against all odds. Only has a bachelor's degree. His job kicks my job's ass.)
  6. How to make TMJ go away.
  7. Why people get TMJ in the first place.
  8. How amphetamines help with ADHD. Aren't the kids already hyper? Why would you think to give them speed?
  9. How to get people to read my blog so I can monetize it, become famous, and parlay my wit into a fabulous job in journalism.
  10. Where the socks go that get eaten by the dryer.
  11. Why patio furniture is so frickin' expensive.
  12. Where I can find 50s-style/inspired clothes for cheap. (That look like this.)
  13. How I can improve my chances of winning the lottery, so I can pay off my mortgage and student loans. (Actually playing the lottery might be a good start.)
  14. Why some people survive on around 3 hours of sleep a night, while others (like me) need more like 9.
  15. If the movie Valentine's Day will be as funny as it looks, or if it will make me want to slit my wrists.
  16. How I can get back into horseback riding, even though I'm broke. (Hunter/Jumper/Equitation. Some dressage. 20 years of experience. Inquire if your horse needs to be ridden.)
  17. Why Facebook finds it necessary to change its format every 5 minutes.
  18. How to play the guitar.
  19. If I'll ever meet "Mr. Right".
  20. Why my throat hurts. (I better not be getting sick!)

Enlighten me, oh wise readers, if you have any answers to my perplexing queries.



In the meantime, for your viewing pleasure:



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