Well, I survived Black Sunday. Canada won it's first home-court gold. That Chinese couple kicked serious tail in the pairs short program. I've gotten nowhere with my studying.
But I have been thinking - which is never a good thing. I've been thinking about my life, and where I'll be a year from now. Wondering if I'll be sitting on this same couch next Valentine's Day, in my pajamas, having not left the house in 2 days. Or if I'll be with someone I love, getting ready for a busy Monday (or, Tuesday, as it will be in 2011) at a job I love, and at which I am great. I wonder if I'll be a CPA, or a licensed attorney, or both. Or, maybe a real writer (which is what I really want, if I'm honest with myself).
I wrote a paper in high school for AP Psych. It was on Self-Fulfilling Prophecy, which is basically the idea that we become what we believe we can be. Students who are raised to believe they can't succeed academically typically don't. But, if those same students are raised in an environment that fosters confidence and exploits potential, they will excel.
I admit, my self-fulfilling prophecy lately has been one of failure and inadequacy. I have had very little faith in my abilities to perform well and to be happy, and am therefore doing neither. I want my mindset, and my life, to change. I want to believe in my ability to succeed, and therefore actually succeed. I don't just mean professionally. I want to succeed in all aspects of life. I want to be a good friend, great at my job (whatever it may be), and someone who is open to love, and lovable. I want to make a difference to someone, somewhere. I want to find joy in my life, and contentment with my decisions.
It's a lofty aspiration, I know. But if I can just get to the place where I believe in myself, then I know I can be all of these things.
The only question is, how do I get there?
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