The following ramblings are based on real-life experiences, mishaps, and downright screw-ups. Names (of past, present, and future boyfriends) have been changed or omitted to protect the innocent. And the guilty...

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Random's Manifest - Thursday Thoughts

Hello boys and girls! 

Last I checked, it's Thursday!  And you know what that means!!!!!


Shall we begin? 

Ice Cream Man!  

That's pretty much all I have to say about that.  Like clockwork, EVERY SINGLE DAY - rain, sleet, hail, snow - it doesn't matter.  The ice cream man is a helluva lot more reliable than the mail-persons around here.  I think he might be a front for something.  Drug ring?  Maybe.  More likely though, he's a Narc hired by the homeowner's association.  I swear, those people never miss a violation.  If I'm an hour late in getting my trashcan inside?  Nastygram.  Wreath with a red bow up the week after Christmas?  Nastygram.  Friend parked on the curb?  Nastygram (and sometimes a big sticker on their windshield).  Pretty clever when you think about it.  What better way to spy on your friends and neighbors than by selling their kids sugar-laden goods?  

So Much for That Plan!  

Diet?  What diet?  I know I'm not dieting!  Or, at least you'd never know it by what I've consumed in the last 48 hours!  Work trips are kryptonite for dieting.  Corporate Amex + delicious restaurants + tired Kristen = 5,000 calories.  I used up all of my bonus points for the week and then some on several delicious meals.  The good thing?  I'm STILL full, so I think I can skip dinner tonight.  Maybe I'll be able to resist temptation over the weekend, too, since I didn't just whet my appetite, I drenched it... 

Much Too Young to Feel This Damn Old 

I am 32.  You all know this.  However, I am blessed to be able to say that most people never guess a day over 25 - at the oldest.  (Okay, maybe 27 once or twice...)  No wrinkles to speak of and not a grey hair in sight.  And I have one of those "baby" (read, fat) faces that allows me to keep a "youthful glow".  So why am I bitching?  That would be because of the waddle.  No, not this kind of waddle: 

Rather, this kind of waddle: 

As aforementioned, I have a plump face.  But now, I have this THING hanging down where no chin should be!  Hot damn!  I did NOT sign on for this!  

You know I don't post pictures of myself.  For privacy reasons, and because I LOATHE pictures.  But to be fair, please know that I do NOT look like this: 

Or this: 

Or, heaven forbid, this: 

(THANK GOD!!  And for a multitude of reasons!) 

But, I am starting to look a little bit like this: 

So, dear readers, what in the world can I do about it??  Despite my weakness for As-Seen-On-TV exercise equipment, I'm not to the place in my life where I will be pressing "Pay Now" on these items any time soon:


(Well... Maybe just that last one...)

But, I am on the lookout for DIY exercises that actually work!  Anybody know of any?  If so, please enlighten me.  (But, no, I do NOT need to hear how the aforementioned break in my diet might be directly correlated with my chicken-chin, thank you very much.  I am well aware.) 

The Moment You've Been Waiting For!!!!

If you look to your right, you'll notice that I am up to 39 followers.  Better, but not best.  Since I am certainly not above bribery and groveling, I have decided that it's time for Musical Musings' VERY FIRST 

Glitter Text - http://www.sparklee.com

That's right!  Free stuff!  WOOT!!!! 

I'm not telling you the details just yet - but know that it will be AWESOME (of course).  So, recruit followers!  When there's fifty of you guys over there, I'll announce the killer prizes and the rules for entry!  (Don't worry, it won't be difficult.)  I know you're on the edges of your seats!

Gee, I hope I Don't Get Fired! 

I was supposed to be at a dinner/awards ceremony this evening.  However, I was out of town for work. So, I had to drive back home rather quickly in order to make it on time.  Note, I did not want to go to the banquet.  They are boring.  On the other hand, I DID want to go to the Coach outlet that's on my way home from the client location.  If people in my state could drive, I would've been able to do both.  However, due to a broken-down tractor trailer, street paving at the most inopportune time imaginable (5:30 pm), and people who can't seem to understand that they post those "Slow Down, Paving Ahead" signs for a reason, my two-hour drive quickly turned to three.  Needless to say, I didn't make it to the banquet.  But, I do now own these: 


Assuming I don't get fired for missing the banquet (we weren't getting an award or anything, we just had a table and no butts to go in the seats), I think it was well worth it.  

Alrighty kiddos, with that, I am off.  Hope you've had a fabulous Thursday and are super-psyched for Friday!  

Hasta pasta! 



Katie said...

Coach purses!! I love them. :) And for some reason, I feel the need for the neck/chin sock. Just because it looks funny.

J-non said...

coach choice brown: boring.
coach choice pink: adorable.
and you know it takes a lot for me to acknowledge that.
the chin thing I will not acknowledge.

Stolen Sentiments said...

@ J-Non: Brown purse is kinda boring, but it's both black and brown and thereby perfect for work (that's why I got it). The pink one is just for fun. :)

You know the chin thing is true...

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