The following ramblings are based on real-life experiences, mishaps, and downright screw-ups. Names (of past, present, and future boyfriends) have been changed or omitted to protect the innocent. And the guilty...

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Trash Talk - Tuesday (on Wednesday)


Today's (well, yesterday's) topic... 

The Stupid Disguises on Y&R: A Photo Essay

For those of you who are new(ish) to Musical Musings, you may not know that I watch the Young & the Restless - and have religiously since birth.  It's hella stupid, I know, but boy do I love it!  NEVER miss an episode.  

The soap is dumb.  It's supposed to be.  It's unrealistic and crazy and silly and, if taken seriously or over-analyzed, it's insulting to a person of somewhat average intelligence.  This insult is arguably most evident in the writers' pathetic efforts to masquerade its characters when they're spying on one another, stealing trade secrets, or, most commonly, running from the law.  When they can't write in a complete plastic surgery makeover (see this issue of Trash Talk for more on the absurdity of that), they resort to the most clever of disguises! (No sarcasm there at all...)  

Some examples: 

1. This is Sharon: 

Sharon has been accused of murder.  She knocked out her guard in the ladies room and escaped from the courthouse after her conviction.  With the help of her luv-ah Adam, she's now a fugitive on the run.  But, with this foolproof plan, I'm sure NO ONE will ever find her!

Because everybody knows it only takes slutty clothes and hair a shade darker to evade capital murder charges! 

2.  And, here's Skye: 

Incidentally, this is the woman Sharon has been accused of murdering.  But before she fell down a volcano to her untimely demise, she was already supposed to be dead.  Victor, Skye's (and Sharon's) father-in-law, helped Skye fake her own death and escape to Hawaii.  Since the Newmans are the equivalent of the Trumps in Soap-Land, I'm sure the news of a Newman wife's death would never make it all the way to the islands.  Just in case, though, Skye came up with this killer guise: 

With realistic Heidi braids like these, she's home free!!

3. Jack is a mainstay of Y&R.  He's been on it since the beginning of time.  This is Jack on a typical day:

Jack flew to Hawaii (to find Skye).  Knowing that he'd be recognized by Victor's strategically-placed lackeys if he went as himself, he chose to portray a middle-aged surfer/drifter: 

Because, I guess if he gets some salt water in his hair and says "dude" enough, he's basically a whole different person... 

4. Across town, and unrelated to the Sharon/Skye/Victor/Jack debacle, Jana, who normally looks like this: 

Is up to all kinds of no good.  She's decided to find her ex-hubby's niece - who she suspects has been sold to a black-market baby broker - in a pathetic attempt to win him back. (OMG - I am realizing how ridiculous this show really is, seeing the plot-lines in writing...)  So, she goes "undercover" (read, fake baby belly and a crappy accent) to meet the kiddie-dealer:

And then again to investigate a suspicious bank account number: 

I know I'm fooled!

(Sorry the spacing is all messed up.  I really don't have the patience to fix the HTML right now.) 

5. Suspicious of Jana's wacky behavior, Chloe and Gloria: 


Decide to partake in a little breaking & entering to sift through Jana's belongings for clues.  


C'mon, what good lawbreaker's wardrobe doesn't include a stealthy cat-suit??  I mean, you just KNOW you're getting caught without one!

6. Last, but CERTAINLY not least, is Adam: 

Adam is THE BEST at disguises!!  

This is Sabrina - Victor's late wife: 

Here is Adam - playing the dead Sabrina: 

Uncanny, isn't it?!?!?!  Convincing enough to drive Ashley (the blond in the first picture) to the mental institution, anyway! 

But, even better than his Sabrina get-up is Adam's affinity for baseball caps and sunglasses.  It seems that this convicted murderer, forger, fugitive, perjurer, and all-around stand-up guy need only don his favorite hat, a pair of sunglasses, or maybe some strategically-placed flowers to get away with - well - any of the aforementioned crimes: 


Adam - for your ingenuity and remarkable effectiveness, we salute you!!  And to the writers of Y&R?  Maybe you SHOULD quit your day jobs... 


Cheeseboy said...

Ha ha! What a post. Boy, this plot almost makes a Glee plot conceivable.

Chloe is the hottest one, btw. (Sorry, that's just what guys do.)

Bridgette said...

Ok, this is kind of like the whole how-does-nobody-realize-Clark-Kent-is-really-Superman-just-by-combing-his-hair-and-wearing-glasses but people are IDIOTS so these disguises might work and here's why. My husband wears contacts. On his days off because he works such long hours in such a hot nasty kitchen he likes to give his eyes a break and he wears his glasses. Which, for the record do not have a fake nose and moustache attached or anything like that. Nope, they're very thin wire frames and glasses - hardly all that noticeable. So on aforementioned days off we will go out and do stuff, like normal people. We will, upon occasion, run into one of his current or former employees. He greets them. They stare at him like they have never seen him before. Then I pop up and they realize it's James! Holy cow! They didn't recognize him! Is it because he's in jeans or shorts instead of slacks? Nope. Is it because he is in a short-sleeved shirt or tee instead of a button-down? Nope. Is it because he is not sporting a kitchen apron? Nope. It's because he's wearing glasses. People are idiots. (By the way, we have a long-running joke about this here in our house and I am so excited to find someone who might appreciate it!).

Stolen Sentiments said...

@Cheeseboy: I agree - Chloe is A-dorable. And, girls do it, too! I devoted a whole post to the guys I think are hot!

@Bridgette: HA! People ARE idiots!

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