I Woke Up In Love This Morning

My pal Katie over at Words By Katie did an entry the other day that was one of those "A Little Bit About Me" things.  It was short, to the point, and comprised of ten innocuous questions.  (And incidentally, I did learn a lot of new, fun things about Katie.)  At the end of this post, Katie indirectly challenged me (and all of her other readers) to complete the same quiz.  Don't worry though, you can all breathe a collective sigh of relief.  In the interest of limited disclosure, I'm not going to answer those ten questions.  

Well, with the exception of Question 8...

8. Who is your biggest celebrity crush?

This question caught my eye because this was Katie's response: 

Um...YUM!!!!!!!!!

Katie's a sports fanatic, so she knows who this is (some football player or something?).  I do not.  What I do know, though, is that he is FINE.  And surrounded by tack, which means he rides horses.  That's my kinda man, ladies! (And gents, of course.) 

But he's not my ONLY kinda man, OH NO!!  As wishy-washy as I am about everything else (see my "About Me" for my lists of "Favorite" things - I can NEVER pick just one!!), you didn't really think I'd have just one single celebrity crush now, did you?  

So, in no particular order, here are some of the Hollywood Hotties who make me melt like a popscicle on the 4th of July...

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George Clooney

If you put a gun to my head and said I absolutely had to pick A favorite, it'd be him.  Political views and womanizing ways aside, this is my DREAM MAN.  Ever since his days as Booker on Roseanne and that guy on Facts of Life, I've been in love.  Sigh... <3 <3 <3

Favorite Flick: Toss-up between O' Brother Where Art Thou and Up in the Air.  Oh yeah - and Ocean's Eleven.  

Mmmm.... 

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James Marsters 

I used to be a die-hard member of Team Angel (and don't get me wrong, David Boreanaz is still GORGEOUS), but somewhere between Season 4 and Season 5 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, I fell for Spike.  Maybe it's the bad-boy thing.  Maybe it's the fact that he consistently made me laugh my ass off.  Maybe it's the fact that he's sexy as hell.  Maybe it's all of that.  Regardless, he's right up there on the list.  

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Paul Walker 

I admit, I've only seen Paul in the Fast & Furious films, but with eyes like those?  That was enough! 

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Justin Timberlake

Anyone who's ever actually read this blog probably knows how much I adore Justin Timberlake.  Yeah, he's pretty frickin' adorable, but what gets me is that he possesses my most favoritest quality in big-time star - he can make fun of himself.  Need proof?  Watch a couple of the videos posted under "Absolute Hilarity" (to your right).                      Favorite Role: Since I haven't seen Social Network yet, I'm going with Cup O' Soup.  Or maybe DD Implant.  Or Hip-Hop kid... 

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John Stamos 

Don't even try to deny it - Uncle Jesse was HOT.  Well, sans mullet anyway.  Nowadays?  Damn... (Catch him on gLee every now and then.  Tuesdays, 8pm EST)

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Taylor Kitsch

Before he was the scrumptious Tim Riggins on Friday Night Lights, the eye-candy to your left was an Abercrombie model.  'Nuf said.

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Shemar Moore 

I love him on Criminal Minds, but before he was Derek Morgan, he was the original, Oh-So-Fine, Malcolm Winters on the Young & the Restless.   And that, my dear fans, is how I choose to remember him.  (Perhaps because they replaced him with Family Matters' Eddie Winslow (Darius McCrary) who is just God-awful.  You just can't replace Shemar...) 

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And speaking of the soap...

The Men of Y&R

Greg Rikaart - The lovable trouble-maker of Geona City - Kevin Fisher.  Always brings comic relief and an adorable smile.  I wish he was straight in real life. :( 

Christian LeBlanc - Like Greg, Christian's patented facial expressions and witty retorts keep viewers chuckling.  And ironically? Christian plays Kevin Fisher's half-brother, Michael Baldwin.  But, sadly?  Rumor has it he's gay, too.  Aren't all the good ones?  

Joshua Morrow - Despite some questionable hair decision (both of the head and facial variety), Nick Newman is a hunk.  I don't think any fans would disagree. 












Billy Miller - I fall more in love with Billy Abbot every day.  Hard not to when he looks like that!  (And is adorable, funny, and mischievous as they come...) 

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Well guys and gals, I'm hitting the hay.  For those of you that are into this sort of thing, sweet dreams of all of these delicious treats! 

Love and Rockets, 

SS

Waist So Skinny - Mondays

Well kiddos, yours truly has, in this first quarter of 2011, redefined the art of stress eating.  Unfortunately, in so doing, I have also redefined my waistline, and not in a good way.  


Let me put it this way - I still weigh 10 lbs more than my sister and she is a centimeter dilated and 50% effaced. 


As such, it's back on Weight Watchers I go, but this time, I fully intend to stick with it.  I've done it before (and lost 25 lbs!), but I've stopped exhibiting any signs of self-control, and I am inching back up to the VERY bad place (I crossed into the "just bad" place about a month ago). 


So, how will I ensure weight-loss success?  My dear, fair readers, that's where you come in.  Monday is my weigh-in day (as it has been every time I've dieted), so every Monday I have to report my success (or failure) to you guys.  That way, if I fail, I will fail publicly.  And everyone knows that public humiliation is the best motivator!  

Look forward to next week's post when, hopefully, I will have good news for you! (3 lbs, 3lbs, 3lbs...) And maybe I'll even have some funny anecdotes along the way...    

Wish me luck!  (Goal is to lose 10 lbs and start exercising 2-3 times/week)

PS - I'm already STARVING

Saved By the Bell - Saturday

That's right, I'm talking about THE Saved By the Bell.  Inspired by my hilarious friend Maureen's always laughter-inducing Facebook posts and statuses, I decided to start a new blogging series on one of the most influential television shows of our generation.  I mean - what would life have been like without the Zack Attack?  Kelly Kapowski?  The infamous "Jesse Gets Addicted to Caffeine Pills" episode?  I know my own life was permanently altered.  Was it for the better or for the worse?  I'll let you decide... 

So, every Saturday (when I feel like it, anyway) I'll share some snippet from Saved By the Bell, highlighted by my own sassy opinion on said snippet.  Prepare to be enlightened. 

This week, (again - thanks to Maureen) we look at the super-creepy music video by "Hot Sundae" - the impromptu musical act that contributed Jesse's unforgettable drug (sort of)-induced breakdown: 

If you remember, the following MTV Video Award-worthy display of musical genius somehow magically ended up in the hands of a famous producer (stuff like that always seemed to happen to the SBTB kids - by my calculations, they should've been gazillionaires by the 10th grade), and the girls were scheduled to perform for him in an effort to win a recording contract.  But, as Jesse so emotionally taught us - what goes up must come down.  After too many No-Doze, our soon-to-be stripper passed out and slept through that potentially life-changing performance.  Thank goodness she was there to teach us all such a valuable lesson about legal drug abuse!  And, if you're paying attention, you might also learn a thing or two about the dangers of g-string leotards paired with black leggings... 

The moral of this pointless post?  Kids - careful with those Red Bulls. You may be "so excited" now, but you'll only find yourselves "SO scared", later... 

Happy Saturday!!

Random's Manifest - Thursday Thoughts

 

TA-DA!  My first installment of Random Thoughts since my return to Bloggy Land!!!  I know you're frickin' thrilled!!!  Don't deny it.  The bizarro workings of my inner-mind are totally kick-ass.

Crash & Burn


Who knew that a side-effect of getting the GREATEST NEWS EVER!!! was total mental shutdown?  Not only can I not concentrate for doody, I feel kinda like hell.  I realized something today: I'm tired.  Like, hella tired.  I've been running on "OMG I have to pass this [insert name of any of a seemingly infinite number of exams here]" adrenaline for over a decade.  The fact that I'm DONE - at least for the foreseeable future - has caused my brain to totally cease functioning.  I stare now.  A lot.  And I feel like I'm going to pass out pretty much all the time.  Boss Man Jr. said tonight - "Why don't you go on home (at 8:15).  You...your eyes look really...uh...tired..." (read - "You look like hammered shit.")  Once this post-o-brilliance is finished, I shall retire for the evening, I think.  (Or, don't think, since I'm apparently not actually capable of doing so...)


Dude, that's sick.


Someone had the bright idea of ripping up our floors in our BRAND NEW building at work, so the elevator banks are closed on my floor and I've been working on the floor below mine this week. (No, not because I'm too lazy to take the stairs.  Because there wasn't room on our floor.  Stop judging.)  That means I'm sitting amongst a totally new set of people that I never see and didn't even know existed.  A pleasant bunch overall, with one rather nasty exception.  THREE TIMES I have heard women leave the bathroom without washing their hands.  Seriously, people.  How old are you?  Learn about hygiene, PLEASE.  If not for yourself, then for your appalled co-workers.  Signed - "I can hear you!"


Not Every Actor Can (or Should) Sing...


Glee rocks.  American Idol showcases actual singing talent.  Grey's Anatomy, though?  I have a very hard time believing tonight's musical episode will be anything but tragic - and not in a good way.  Yes, yes, I understand that the episode is over by now, but I will only be catching it by virtue of my blessed DVR this weekend.  (I have too many episodes of Y&R to catch up on tonight.)  Gotta say, though - the musical episode has been done.  Sometimes well, and sometimes not so much.  It's a tired concept.  While Buffy the Vampire Slayer NAILED IT, I can't really think of another instance in which this deviation from the norm marked anything other than a show's impending demise.  I'm interested to see the general reaction to tonight's display of actor versatility (or lack thereof), and I would love to hear your comments.  I'll weigh in after I catch up this weekend.  










Man, do I love me some Spike!

And Wow, Do You People Love You Some Baby Beauty Queens!

Blogger has made some changes during my hiatus.  For example, I'm super-thrilled to see the "Stats" tab!  Sweet!  I stalk my readers via SiteMeter and BlogPatrol, but now Blogger has made it incredibly easy to monitor your traffic!  Two things I've learned thanks to the Stats tab: 

(1) I need more readers in a MAJOR way.  I mean, c'mon!  I know I'll never be a Chicken or a Cheeseboy or a Hyperbole, but I'm at least kinda funny, right?  (Please say yes - my fragile ego can't take any more rejection.)  So - to all my Blogging pals out there - how do you do it?  Any hints?   

(2) My readers REALLY love kiddie pageants.  And I mean really!  Here's a snapshot of my most viewed posts:

Kinda sad, I know.  But patheticness aside, check out the top post!  1,680 views of the March 2, 2010 episode of Trash Talk.  Wow!  Now, I know my analysis of the kiddie pageant circuit was pure, unadulterated brilliance but, damn!  Maybe I should just devote my blog to covering the local pageant scene.  I bet my followers would increase infinity-fold!  (PS - In third place is the follow-up to the original pageant post, and coming in second is my rant on Jodie Sweetin.  Go figure...)

Necesito Practicar Mi Espanol - In a MAJOR Way

Not sure if any of you know this, but I have a Bachelor's Degree in Spanish. (Yeah, I'm weird like that.  Took some classes and just decided I might as well get another degree.  I've got problems.  But, then, you probably figured that out already...)  And, honestly?  I'm appalled to admit that to you.  Not because I don't think Spanish is a perfectly fantastic major and an incredibly useful language, but rather because I don't remember a damn word of it.  This was made abundantly clear to me this evening when the Hispanic maintenance man came by and asked if he should vacuum the conference room in which I was working.  Granted, he wasn't asking me this in Spanish, but he was definitely struggling to get the idea across in English.  I thought to myself, "Gee, how much easier would this be if I could just have this conversation with him in Spanish?"  Then I realized there's no possible way I could do that.  For starters, I can't remember the word for vacuum, much less how to properly conjugate the verb.  That's just sad, folks.  Sad.  I need to get to Spain again tout suite...

Alrighty kiddos - off to bed.  As aforementioned, I'm beat.  Have a fantastic evening and get your friends to read Musical Musings!  Please!  I need readers!  And new friends!  And affirmations!  

Love ya - 

SS

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Follow-Up: Grey's was just as horrible as I thought it would be.  There's always one person who fancies herself a singer, thereby becoming the focus of such a musical episode.  In the Buffy one, it was actually several - Giles, Tara, Spike... But in the Grey's musical, it was Callie.  She was good, but not good enough to warrant subjecting innocent audiences to all the other wretched voices on that show.  And, it added nothing but distraction and confusion to the plot line.  Epic fail, Grey's.  Epic fail.  I look forward to hearing about your now-inevitable cancellation.    

Tell Me Why - Wednesday

Why is that when this happens: 

This must also happen:

   

Discuss.

Trash Talk - Tuesday

OPINIONS AHEAD. 

PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

So, in the expanse of time between my last, dismal post and this moment (or, yesterday), when I rejoined the blogging race, I have become mildly (read frighteningly) addicted to all things FLDS.  For those of you who don’t know, that’s the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. 

NOTE: I am NOT talking about the mainstream LDS, which is a church composed of wonderful people and some of my dearest friends.  No, the FLDS is that crazy polygamist cult that got raided a few years ago.  Remember?   

Its prophet is currently in jail serving terms for rape, accomplice to rape, tax evasion, fraud, etc. It’s a real peach of a “church”.

(Warren Jeffs with a 12-year-old bride)

I’m not entirely sure what draws me to this alternate universe, but I am absolutely fascinated by all things polygamous.  Point in case, my obsession has manifested in: 

1.      Watching all five seasons of Big Love in the course of two months – going so far as to add HBO to my Direct TV package so I could watch the last season real-time (FANTASTIC show – highly recommend);

2.       

      Reading the following memoirs:

a.       Lost Boy

b.      Escape

c.       Triumph

d.      Cult Insanity

e.      Stolen Innocence

3.       DVR-ing “Banished: The Lost Boys of Polygamy” and “Inside Polygamy: Life in Bountiful”;

4.       And, of course, catching every episode ever of:

        And that brings us to this week's Trash Talk Topic: 

The Brown Family

(Disclaimer: The Browns are NOT part of the FLDS cult.  They call themselves Polygamous Mormons, or Fundamentalist Mormons.  They wear normal clothes, the kids go to public schools, they watch (and star on) TV, etc.  They are NOT a cult, and the following trash-talk is NOT bashing their religion or lifestyle, but rather their patriarch – and solely because he’s so cheesy, you can’t watch him without crackers.)

For the most part, I kinda dig the Brown Family.  The kids are endearing, the wives are pretty cool (except maybe Janelle – she’s a little odd and gruff), but my question for you, dear readers, is WHAT is the appeal of KODY BROWN?  How in the world has this man managed to snag not one, not two, but FOUR wives?? 

I mean, there’s the hair:

The CHEESEBALL smile (and, again, the hair):

The RIDICULOUSLY impractical Lexus 2-seater convertible when he has SIXTEEN children and his wives are driving Suburbans that break down on the side of the road, thus stranding said SIXTEEN children:

The age-inappropriate wardrobe symbolizing failed efforts at “cool” (check out the jeans):

The selfish decision to “go public” and subject his family of 21 to this:

Police Investigating Sister Wives Stars for Felony Bigamy

BY MIKE FLEEMAN

Update Tuesday September 28, 2010 08:00 AM EDTOriginally posted Monday September 27, 2010 10:00 PM EDT

And then, of course, there’s still the hair:

Now, I know I am both supporting and perpetuating this frighteningly bizarre phenomenon by religiously (no pun intended – har har) tuning in to TLC every Sunday night at 9:00 pm EST.  But, what can I say?  This show is a fascinating train-wreck from which I cannot avert my eyes.  Check it out this weekend, or try to find some episodes online somewhere.  And if you’re looking for enough satire, sarcasm, parody, and trash-talk out there to entertain you for days, try Google-ing Kody Brown.  Trust me, you won’t be sorry.

It's My Turn Now!

Yep, that's right!  I'M BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  And the reason I'm back?  Well, because I imposed upon myself a blogging and horse-hunting hiatus that could not end until I could address you all as:



Yes, that's right, yours truly is now a Certified Public Accountant AND a Licensed Attorney at Law!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DONE am I with the days of using all of my vacation for studying!

DONE am I with that nagging guilt that plagued me whenever I read a book for fun!

DONE am I with the stress-induced ulcers and splitting headaches! (Well, at least I'm leaving those up to the job now, anyway)

DONE am I with all things academic!

So done, in fact, that I have imposed yet another moratorium upon myself - this one forbidding me to engage in any academic, accreditation-related, or career altering activity for a period of ONE YEAR.  I am to do nothing but my current job and take care of myself.

Hours of TV!  Tons of literary trash!  Afternoons of indulgent naps!

HALLELUJAH, it is FINISHED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(More tomorrow, after I come down from my prideful high...)