Wonderful Day

I decided to forgo We Are the World Wednesday this week for two reasons: (1) I have nothing prepared.  I was going to write on my friend Tim, who has selflessly decided to become a firefighter/American Hero, but I have not gotten the details on his program yet.  Keep a watch out for Tim's story in coming weeks;  (2) I wanted to share my WONDERFUL day with you all today!  I love great days!

• 12:07 am: Received AMAZING news that I'd passed Financial!! 
• 1:40 am: Went to sleep after watching two good episodes of Sex and the City
• 9:20 am: Ordered a chicken biscuit at Chick Fil A, along with a medium coffee and large iced tea.  Not only did they actually get my order right this time (a first!), they also "accidentally" poured me a large coffee instead!  Upgrade - free of charge!  One can never have too much caffeine!  
• 10:15 am: Sam's blog post made me smile. 
• 10:30 am - 11:30 am: Long overdue catch-up call with Boss Lady.  (Yes, there's a Boss Lady, too, but I don't do much work for her anymore, so you never hear about her.  She's AWESOME though and I love her to death!  How did I get 3 bosses that are great to work for??  I'm lucky, I guess!  Now, if I didn't have to deal with charge hours or mandatory overtime, I'd have the perfect job...)  She told me that she'd go to the Soirée with me!!!  Yay!  Chocolaty goodness!!  
• 11:30 am - 2:00 pm: Hum along.  Receive many congrats from friends on my CPA exam feat.  :) 
• 2:40 pm: Go to bank to close accounts.  They actually don't give me crap! Pay off one of my credit cards.  SWEEET. 
• 3:05 pm: Subway employee (who's young and kinda cute) tells me I'm GORGEOUS.  Love it! 
• 3:30 pm: Get to the hairdresser's for an appointment.  My hairdresser is a riot and I love going to visit him!  He does a great job cutting my hair, too.  First thing he tells me when I walk in the door is how skinny I look.  This day just keeps getting better! 
• 4:20 pm: Return to office with Cookies & Cream ice cream cone and Little Debbie fruit pie (hey - I earned it!).
• 5:46 pm: Now.  Nice, quiet day since Boss Men Jr. & Sr. are in Ohio for meetings.  More than 30 people have read my blog today.  I'm going to leave at a reasonable hour and work from home.  My hair looks GREAT (thanks Michael!).  

I hope your day has been just as awesome!!

Hey Ya!

HELL YEAH!!!


I got home from work last night a little after midnight, and decided to check the mail, since I STILL had not received my test scores from the most dreadful of CPA exam sections - Financial.  Sure enough, there was the envelope from the state CPA board (where the BITCH works...).  When you fail a section (and I know this from MUCH personal experience), the board will print a matrix on the back of the score sheet that shows your weak areas vis a vis that section's material.  Generally, I am weak in pretty much every area, on every test.  And, I know I've failed before I even unfold the score sheet because they fold them with the matrix facing out.  Nice of them, huh?


HOWEVER - this time, the back of the sheet was blank.

BLANK.

 Yes,

   

BLANK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

There must be some mistake, I thought to myself as I unfolded the watermarked (so I know it wasn't an April Fool's Joke!) paper.  But, NO!  NO MISTAKE!!  They hadn't just inadvertently forgotten my Matrix o' Weaknesses!  

That's right, folks!  Against all odds, and contrary to every assumption off of which I'd been running, I passed Financial.  The longest, most miserable section of the world's most hellacious exam.  That means I'm 3 down, 1 to go.  And the 1 to go is the shortest and easiest section!  I know, if I study the way I did for this last one, I will pass it just fine.  Then, I will be: 

Kristen, JD, CPA

And after this summer, when my AMAZING law school professor - who's so selflessly helping me out right now - finds me a tutor for the bar exam, I'll be: 

Kristen, Esq., CPA

Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it??  

So, today at Musical Musings, I salute myself!  And honor myself with one of my most favoritest songs and videos EVER...  

Trash Talk Tuesday

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OPINIONS AHEAD. 

PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

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I'm totally taking the cop-out approach on Trash Talk today.  I was going to join in on Taboo Tuesday, but I don't have anything prepared, nor am I able to research today.  The same is true for Trash Talk.  Instead of a new and exciting topic this week, you get comments on prior topics.  Two recent Trash Talks have prompted comments containing opposing viewpoints.  Since I love a good debate, I shall post them here: 

• Baby Beauty Queens (See this installment: Trash Talk Tuesday) 

If you remember, I rather harshly criticized child beauty pageants - based solely on my extensive viewing of Toddlers & Tiaras and Little Miss Perfect (as well as a couple of documentaries).   I was, to quote Cher Horowitz, "Brutally Rebuffed".  Check out what S Garner had to say: 

Wow.. you write well.. witty even but I would say this is quite one sided wouldn't you? Even you yourself admit that your relative enjoys them, it has raised her self esteem, confidence and even earned some scholarship cash. Sure there are whackos in every sport, hobby and family but come on. You are leaning 98% towards exploitation and bad parenting when, if you've been in it at all, (which my guess is you have not) you'd see that its the crazy ones that really are the rarity. There is no excuse for Miss "this one is prettier than that one", granted that's a horrifying thing to do to kids. Same as the parents you see pitting one sibling against the other in football, baseball, lacrosse and so on. Crazy pageant moms make good tv and give people like you a way to really dig in and bash the whole idea of pageantry. But.. truth have it, its great Mommy and me time, it should be done only when the child wants to do it.. which is sometimes not evident until they are a little older and can express their wants and needs. I see nothing wrong with a Mom putting a dress on her baby and walking her across a stage. Who really cares? This is far from exploitation even at this age. They meet other kids, make new friends, feel good about themselves and so on. I was a pageant coach for 7 years. I did not coach the Moms with a wad of cash but preferred to coach the ones who were short on it, or were friends of mine. The main reason I started doing it was to help the kids who were new or couldn't afford the insane $100 per hour coaches so that they too could have exactly the same advantages at least in modeling and talent. I did ask Moms to leave my group of girls if it was evident the child wasn't into it and it appeared the Mom was doing it more for herself and the A #1 thing I promoted was inner beauty, self respect and good sportsmanship. There's way more to pageants than you can imagine and to see someone as intelligent as you appear to be make such broad insinuations is rather disheartening to me. It seems like you did your research.. or did you? What exactly did you research on the good side of pageants? There certainly is a lot of good in pageantry. 

And for Miss Satan.. come on.. be real. Are the "trashy football Dads" all taken over by Satan too? Do you believe everything you read?

I admit, S Garner does bring up some good points, and I concede that I am one-sided.  Here is my response:

Ah yes, S Garner - one sided perhaps. But that's why I include the caveat that these posts contain MY opinions. I appreciate your perspective, and absolutely respect it. And, I really enjoy sparking debate and good conversation, so bring it! I have not claimed to know anything more about pageantry than what is captured in documentaries, but they are pretty damn scary. Again - as I said though - I know the good pageants have done for my cousin. I think it might be inappropriate to push the very young girls into it, though. At least to the extremes that are profiled in shows like LMP and T&T. They are not old enough to truly know if they want to do it, and you have to admit that some of the routines and costumes definitely border on (or blatantly cross into the realm of) exploitative. That being said, some of these girls, and their families, take a refreshing approach to the pageants, and showcase the child's natural beauty and talent. In those cases, it's truly enjoyable to watch. It sounds like you supported the latter approach, and I think that's awesome. Good for you for helping the girls who couldn't otherwise afford good coaching, and for protecting their interests. You need to get on TV and show the world that side of pageantry.

I checked out S Garner's linked website: Shelbie Anne.  True to her word, she is a coach to kids who might not otherwise afford to have one.  She's clearly proud of her girls, and they seem to really enjoy what they're doing.  I love that she posts stories about other activities in which the girls are involved, and not just about pageants (like her post about Becca's dance team win).  That's a great way to promote well-roundedness.  So, props to Shelbie!  (I also appreciate the compliment on my writing and wit - even if it was tempered with a "but"...) 


What do you guys think, readers?  Pageants: Good?  Bad?  Ugly?  Indifferent?  


I stand by my original point (in the response to Shelbie's comment) that pushing the little ones into it might not be appropriate.  But, for the older girls, I think it's generally fine.  As long as they don't lose sight of the healthy reasons for doing pageants (e.g. self-confidence, poise, public speaking, scholarship money), in order to become obsessed with winning and exhibitionism, or pleasing their parents.  


Moving on...

• Disney Divas (See this installment: Trash Talk Tuesday) 

J-nonymous is BACK!  I'm so excited!  (She's been MIA for a while, travelling and such.  I've missed her loyal readership and good comments.)  She had this to say about last week's post on Miley Cyrus, Hilary Duff, and other Disney Divas: 

You know, K, I've had these exact same thoughts *about* some of Shia LeB's comments... so though I agree that he has some talent, he definitely falls into your warning category. I've actually thought about this a lot. I mean, he's better than Megan Fox about press, but not much. (Been gone so long, and this is the point I have to tune in to make? I promise I'm catching up!)

My response: 

J-nonymous - Don't tell me that! I've never heard of him trashing Disney! I want to believe he's a good guy! I love him!

Again I quote the honorable Cher when I say: "Do you recall the dates of these alleged [remarks]??"  I want to see some articles supporting these hateful allegations, before I will accept that Shia is also a tool.  J - please reply to this post with some links.  

• Pregnant Teens (See this installment: Trash Talk Tuesday) 

No thought provoking responses to this post, but I thought I'd follow up, nonetheless.  


Sixteen & Pregnant: Season Two is SOOOOOOOOOO inferior to Season One.  The girls are more naive, more annoying, and more selfish than ever, and their boyfriends are way bigger douches.  While one might think this would make for better viewing, it's actually detracting from my enjoyment.  Part of what made this show such an anomaly was the fact that you really could relate to the girls, and your heart went out to them.  Their struggles were real and realistic, and they each had some endearing quality that made you want to root for a happy ending to their sordid tales.  This season - not so much.  I find myself losing focus and wandering out of the room to fold laundry (and that says a lot, considering I loathe laundry with all the fire of hell) or do other meaningless chores, because I'm no longer connecting with the characters.  MTV needs to not worry so much about creating shock factor (like the notorious text to episode 4's Chelsea), and should refocus on finding girls that viewers want to follow.  Like Maci, Amber, Catelynn, and Farrah...


...which leads us to Teen Mom: Not a whole lot to report, since this show is over for a while, but I will say HOORAY!  All four girls will be back for a second season of Teen Mom, so we'll get to see year two of parenthood.  Woo hoo!  


Secret Life: The Secret Life of the American Teenager had its finale last week. Luh-AAAAAMMMMMMMEEEE.  We're left with the cliffhanger of whether Adrian (the slut and ex-girl friend to baby-daddy Ricky) is pregnant, too.  But not with Ricky's baby!  Oh no!  With BEN'S!!  (Baby-mama Amy's "nice guy" ex-boyfriend)  It would seem that the condom broke during their little revenge-induced indiscretion, and now there will be two teen moms in this epic love quadrangle.  Meanwhile, every other girl on the show is planning to have sex with some random guy or another.  Will they EVER learn???  (Ridiculously stupid or not, you can bet your ass I'll be tuning in when this trash fest returns this summer!) 


Alrighty - that's enough mindless dribble/filler for one day.  Off to research net assets for NMTC allocatee banks.  (Be glad you have no idea what that means.) 


Latuh! 

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In response to Shelbie's comment below, here are some examples of what I think is cute, and what is crossing the line:

VERY Scary... 

  

Beautiful, and natural...

TOO MUCH...

Suit is fine, but hair and makeup are over the top (you talk about this in your post today, and I totally agree with what you had to say)

This kid is AWESOME: 

LOVED this Mother/Daughter pair on LMP: 

Not seeing why they need to show this much skin: 

Questionable: 

Hmm...

Double hmm...

Adorable: 

Too provocative:

Again, too much for a kid this young: 

Perfectly Beautiful: 

Just plain wrong...  

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Shelbie - Agree or disagree??

Have Fun, Go Mad

Had a great time at the beach this weekend with Deac.  Relaxing trip - but far too short.  Deac is a HUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEE sports fan, though, so there was some college basketball involved in our excursion.  I admittedly don't care all that much.  I can respect the freakish nature of this year's Final Four (with the exception of Duke.  Will they take it all?  Or will an underdog prevail?  As a graduate of Wake Forest Law and the daughter of a Tarheel, I am required by law to hope the Blue Devils fall flat on their faces.),  but that doesn't mean I'm on the edge of my seat in anticipation.  I'm far more interested in Jezebel's March Madness competition: Cake v. Pie.

I mean, how awesome is this?  Seriously?  The above results are as of Friday.  They haven't entered into the Final Four on their end yet, but this is a true nail-biter.  Cake.  Pie.  Both delicious, both satisfying, both wonderful in every way.  How do you choose??  

Check out today's analysis (by Hyperbole and a Half) to learn why Pie is apparently superior to the frosty deliciousness of Cake.  I do love me some blueberry pie, I admit.  And my late Granny's chocolate meringue.  Good stuff.  But, then there's chocolate mousse cake, or black forest, or carrot.  So much sweetness, so little time/waistline.  Sigh... 

I'll keep you guys posted on the results of this epic battle, or you can follow it yourself at Jezebel.  Either way - nobody's a loser in this March Madness!  

Have a cake and pie filled day.  

Love, 

K

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Addendum: Elite Eight Results (so far...):

My picks for the rest of the EE: German Chocolate; Red Velvet; Carrot; Boston Creme; Blueberry; French Silk.  We'll see if the next rounds bust my bracket... 

I Never Won a Grammy, but...

I have won THREE - count 'em - THREE blogger awards now!  BOY, do I feel loved!  You may remember the first award (see We Rock) from Karen at Fiction for Dessert (Thanks again, Karen!  You're awesome!!!).

Now, I've gotten awards #2 and #3!  In the same day!!

So, yeah, it's the same award, but I got it from two different bloggers who I ABSOLUTELY LOVE!  Yay me!!  My first...

 

...comes from your favorite fowl and mine - CHICKEN!  From the hilarious blog The Chicken's Consigliere. Check her out.  She's silly and fun and makes me smile EVERY DAY!  Chicken had this to say about Musical Musings: 

Second up is Stolen Sentiments aka Musical Musings because she reminds us of the cutest, most playful puppy you've ever seen, always leaving the greatest comments and once she left us a Fiesta, people, which charmed the socks off us.

How sweet is that?  I feel so loved.  (So loved, in fact, that a smiley pancake is in order...)




My second...

...comes from CRAZY Becca over at NeuroticGirl.  You will note that Becca received an award from me when I got my first award (again, see We Rock), but I don't think she realized it.  So - Becca - check out your award!  (I didn't know Chicken then, or she would've been on there, too, for sure.)  And you, readers, check out Becca, because she's funny and nuts and just inappropriate enough to be utterly fantastic.

Becca picked me because:

Stolen Sentiments, a fellow musical muser and loyal follower of mine (thanks for hanging around!);

Thanks Becca!  And you're welcome.  You never fail to make me laugh out loud.  (And Dalia never fails to scare me, just a little...)

Now, as with any great honor, this one comes with responsibilities.  The first is to bestow the award upon five other awesome blogs.  Easy enough!!!

1. Chicken.  I know this is cheating, since I don't think you're supposed to give an award back to the person who gave it to you.  However, as per usual, I found a way to circumvent the rules.  So, I'm giving one of my allotments from Becca's award to Chicken.  Chicken - You're beautiful, Birdie!
2. Becca.  Yep - using the same tactics to award Becca another one.  Funny, funny stuff, and well-deserving. 
3. Sam.  Apparently, I inspired my friend Sam's personal blog, The Answers are Simple.  She's funny and cute and NEEDS TO WRITE MORE!!  And, she's my best publicist!  I love you, Sam!!  
4. Katie.  Another person inspired by Musical Musings!  Wow!  I feel so powerful!  Check out Words by Katie!  It's inspirational and sweet, and she has a really cute layout.  
5. Living Shallow, Living Well.  At a blog of the same name.  She's pee-in-your-pants funny.  My favorite post: Census 2010.  
6. (Yes, I know.  The rules say five.  Well, I'm a rule-breaker, remember?  Get over it.) Miss Morgan.  She found me and I in turn found her.  It's thanks to her that I now know the joy of 2001: A Drunk Odyssey.  Her posts have gotten me through some long nights.  Visit her over at Comedy or Tragedy?

The second responsibility that comes with a fabulous award such as this is to list seven things about yourself that your readers can't get from your blog.  Well, I covered a lot in my About Me, but here's some more obscure Kristen Facts: 

1. I started riding horses when I was 10 years old, at summer camp.  I haven't ridden for the past year or so because I'm poor, but it's my biggest passion.  I'm hoping to adopt a horse later this year (maybe this one), if I ever get a raise... 
2. I have a Bachelor's degree in Spanish, but I can barely remember a word of it.  Pathetic.
3. At the risk of alienating myself from everyone else out there, I'll admit that I don't like Lady Gaga.  I saw her open for the New Kids on the Block (I'll have to do a whole post on that, later...) and she was HORRIBLE.  Now when I look at her, I can't get that image out of my head...
4. If I could have one wish, it would be to have been born in 1949.  That would've made me just the right age for the Beatles, Woodstock, Kennedy, Civil Rights, and everything in between. 
5. I used to be smart.  I was even labeled as "gifted" when I was a child.  Who would've thunk it?  
6. My nickname in high school was "Princess".  It was given to me by my creative writing professor because I refused to write in anything but purple pen.  When she tried to convince me to use black, like everyone else, she told me: "To write in black is to write with authority."  I replied: "But, to write in purple is to write with royalty."  It stuck...  
7. My desk is cluttered but psychotically tidy, but my bedroom and car are both a total wreck.  

Well, I've met all of my obligations!  So, on to the rest of the day.  Feeling just a little more beautiful... 

Random's Manifest - Thursday Thoughts

Random, ENRAGED thoughts today.  Why ENRAGED?  Well, read on to find out…

Opening a can of Whoop-Ass

So, I’ve been taking the CPA Exam for most of my adult life, as you all know.  It is by far one of the most miserable things one can do to one’s self.  The test itself is long, tedious, boring, and FRICKIN’ IMPOSSIBLE.  I know millions have passed it, but they are also far more intelligent, focused, and NOT ADD than I.  Many things have gotten in the way of the exam in the past 3 years.  There was that time I was in the hospital with two collapsed lungs and couldn’t take it.  And then there was the time it was scheduled for the day of my Grandmother’s funeral.  Did I get an extension or a refund of the $400 fees for either of those instances?  NOPE.  “No refunds. No extensions.  No exceptions.”  Verbatim, that is what the crazy bitch at the state CPA Exam Board told me.  There’s $800 I’ll never see again. 

Now, I found out that my ADD diagnosis should permit me to receive an accommodation on the exam, so I can actually finish it this next time I take it.  So, I go to the doctor who diagnosed me and have him fill out annoying forms and write a letter and everything.  And then I filled out annoying forms and wrote a letter, too.  There are two forms online that pertain to diagnosis.  The first is for a physician – if a physician diagnosed you.  The second is for a “professional evaluator” – or someone who diagnosis learning disabilities like ADD for a living.  I was diagnosed by a doctor, so I got him to fill out the appropriate form.  (Note – it has taken me WEEKS and at least 20 emails to the Bitch to even get to this point.  She was unwilling to even tell me where on the website I could find these elusive forms.  Only that they were out there in cyberspace, and I had to fill them out.  I mean, how hard is it to copy and paste a frickin’ link??)

That should do it, right?  WRONG.  No dice.  Apparently, the diagnosis of a licensed psychiatrist is not adequate.  They will not give me the additional 30-60 minutes I need for the test unless I also get diagnosed separately by a professional evaluator.  What that translates to is $2,000 worth of tests that are NOT covered by insurance.  Understand that I’ve already spent THOUSANDS of dollars on this exam.  (Enough to buy a car, probably.)  So, color me crazy for not wanting to sink another $2K into it.  For something that’s ALREADY been done.  I told her as much, and asked to speak to someone above her.  She’s scrambling now.  We’ll see what comes of it.  Regardless, I’m going to the Board Deputy this time…

End rant.

Rain, Rain STAY AWAY

Deac has VERY kindly and generously offered to whisk me away to the beach this weekend to help me de-stress.  This couldn’t come at a better time, as I am currently shaking from the craziness that has ensued today.  BUT, the weather forecast is not looking promising.  So – everyone out there – cross your fingers that, as per usual, the weather people will be WRONG and we’ll get 75 degrees and clear skies all the way…

Out of the road, my Deer

I almost wrecked the car on the highway the other night when I was driving home from work at 1:00 am, because a Deer was just hanging out on the side of the interstate.  It got me to thinking – first about why deer do that!  Stay in the woods, Mr. Deer!  You’re far less likely to end up in the Roadkill Café if you don’t loiter about on busy freeways.  Then my thoughts moved on to the word “deer”.  It’s one of few words whose singular and plural forms are the same.  In fact, for the rest of the drive home, I tried to think of other such words and couldn’t come up with a single one.  Granted, my brain was a little fried at that point, but still.  Can you guys think of any other words like that?

I’m with Stupid à

As I was heading to Mickey D’s this morning for my large coffee and giant iced tea, I heard a rather amusing tale on the “Strange News” report on the morning show.  Check out the story: http://www.nbcconnecticut.com/news/weird/Calling-Ahead-Doesnt-Get-Bank-Robbers-Far-88999452.html.

Words of advice – if you’re going to rob a bank (which I know has crossed my mind today, as I do my bills…), do NOT call ahead and request that the cash be bagged and waiting for you.  What you are much more likely to receive in that case is a fun filled run-in with the fuzz.  Epic PHAIL.  Idiots.

Prayers for a Stinky Dog

My beagle, Snoopy (I know, we’re so original), a.k.a. Stinky, has been diagnosed with the kind of anemia that is caused by internal bleeding.  We hoped it was his arthritis medicine that was causing the bleeding, but it sounds like it’s more serious than that.  He’s an old geezer, but we love him dearly.  Please pray (or send good thoughts, if you’re not the praying type) for our little stinky dog as he undergoes some diagnostic tests.  Hopefully it’s something that can be treated with ease.

Alright, K out.  If I don’t get this memo done, Boss-Man Jr. is going to give me the ax, and I’ll REALLY have to rob a bank.  Don’t worry though, I won’t call ahead for reservations… 

Peace. 

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This one's for you, CPA Exam Board Lady! 

We Are the World - Wednesday

HOW in the hizzell is it already Wednesday??  Wow, I'm behind this week.  Well, alas, it is in fact Hump Day, which means you must endure my goody-two-shoes side for the day.   Yep, that's right!  It's...

Today's homegrown hero:  He ain't just bringing SexyBack, ladies.  This Hip Hop Kid is also making quite a difference out there in our great big world.  Yep, you guessed it!  I'm talking about none other than...

Apparently, J.T. isn’t just hilarious, super-talented, and absolutely adorable -- he’s also quite the philanthropist!  I know this story is old news, but raising nearly $9.3 million for the Shriners Hospital in 2009 still deserves some WATW props.  Justin topped The Daily Beast’s 2009 list of charitable celebrities by hosting his annual charity golf tournament, giving a benefit concert with Taylor Swift and TLC, and appearing in a plethora of print and television ads.  Here’s what the DB had to say for all of J.T.’s do-goodery:

#1, Justin Timberlake

Charity: Shriners Hospital for Children 
Annual Impact: $9,262,381 

Talk about powerful branding. Timberlake’s name appeared alongside Shriners in over 1,000 newspapers or magazines over the last two years thanks to the Justin Timberlake Shriners Hospital for Kids Open, an annual Las Vegas golf event televised on the Golf Channel. He also headed up a benefit concert for the organization this fall, and got fellow pop stars Taylor Swift and TLC in on the act, though he hasn’t yet been spotted wearing the famous Shriners fez. 

Breakdown: TV ($617,981), Print ($8,625,000), Internet ($19,400), Personal donations (undisclosed)

For those of you who might not know, the Shriners Hospitals for Children is a network of 22 hospitals across the country, dedicated to providing care for “thousands of kids with orthopedic conditions, burns, spinal cord injuries, and cleft lip and palate, in a family-centered environment with NO FINANCIAL OBLIGATION to patients or families.”  That’s pretty incredible – all services, free of charge.  No wonder J.T.’s efforts have made such an impact!  Click below for more info on the Shriners. 

Way to go, Justin! We here at Musical Musings (yes, I know that’s just me) SALUTE YOU!  Keep up the good work!  And the great music!  And the even better comedy!  And the most adorable smile…  

DEEEEEELICIOUS...

Drive My Car

Yesterday’s "Salute of the Day" (Look to your right - I change that every day.  You may not have noticed.) was dedicated to Deac, and he missed it.  He is distraught, and I think a little suspicious as to whether I actually did salute him.  So, to mollify the Deac-ster, here is yesterday's Salute, in PERMANENT form: 

Deac. For teaching me to drive a stick (sort of), after 31 years of never learning how.  

There you go, Deac my dear.  I (permanently) Salute You!  

Trash Talk Tuesday

Can't go into my usual never ending diatribe this week, as I overslept in a major way, and am therefore here until midnight, at least.  Thank God for free LaWan's Soul Food tonight.  Bring on the lard!

Even though it will be short, I can always throw my two-cents in.  So, without delay, TRASH TALK TUESDAY.

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OPINIONS AHEAD. 

PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

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This Week's Topic...

 Disney Divas

 

Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana opened her big, fat mouth last week in a bitch-fest about her gig with Disney - thus prompting this post.  Check out the article at Us Weekly.  Apparently the no-talent diva has to "grit her teeth" now when forced to dress as her alter-ego, Hannah Montana.  Now, she's too cool to be a role-model to tweens everywhere, and wants to "pursue her career" away from her Disney persona: 

She's also hoping that distancing herself from Disney will change people's perceptions of her.

"I hate being thought of as a product," she says. "I am not a doll, and people want to treat me that way... I'm older now. I have an opinion. I have my own taste."

News flash kiddo - you ARE a product.  You're a line of toys, clothes, makeup, CDs, video games, DVDs, books, movies, magazine articles, advertising gimmicks, Happy Meal giveaways, etc.  And, you ARE a multi-ZILLIONAIRE.  AND, you wouldn't be any of that without Disney.  

I always find it comical when Disney kids grow too big for their britches, and thus forget to whom they truly owe their fame.  Without Hannah Montana, Miley Cyrus would have NO career.  She certainly hasn't made it this far on her phenomenal singing or acting abilities.  (Though I do understand that my mom and I might be the only two people on the face of the Earth who think the child can't carry a tune in a bucket, or act her way out of a paper bag.  Apparently, there's something there that we just don't see.)  And don't get me started on her dancing.  She's a fortunate girl, and she needs to remember humility and humbleness right now.  If she doesn't, she's just going to jinx her career, like her predecessor Hilary Duff…  

Remember Hilary?  Probably not.  She was Lizzie McGuire on the Disney Channel.  For several years.  She broke away from the media mogul over unmet demands for insane amounts of money. And what does she have to show for her greed and diva antics?  A couple of Razzies, really bad veneers, and some lame attempts at "serious" acting.  Now, she's doing made-for-TV, ABC Family Original Movies that are, at best, a quarter of a step up from the show that she openly trashed.  When will they ever learn?? (I will give the girl props though for landing the rich hockey player, and the million dollar diamond...)

Not all Disney stars are divas or no-talent hacks, though.  Look at Mickey Mouse Club vets Ryan Gosling, Christina Aguilera, and of course, J.T. (LOVE HIM!!).  And then there's Shia LaBeouf, who - despite that whole DUI incident - has a very promising career ahead.  How'd he get there?  Not by smack-talking his role on Disney's Even Stevens, but by actually being a really good actor (and a helluva comedian...)

So, the point to all this ranting?  (Is there ever a point, really? – Oh, according to Chicken, there’s ALWAYS a point…) Just a couple words of advice:

Mommas – Don’t let your babies grow up to be Disney stars.  And if you do, for GOD’S SAKE, don’t let them speak.  Ever.

And child stars – remember where you come from, and where you’re likely not going.  Enjoy the fame, while it lasts…   

(Oh, I’m taking bets on how long it takes for Cyrus’s career to tank.  I give her 19 ½ months from the original air-date of the last episode of Hannah Montana…)

Have a great Tuesday!  Back to work I go!  

Kiss Off

Here's some stuff I've learned today:

1. I spoke too soon in my tribute to spring, as it ended up being 45 degrees and rainy today.  
2. Even Boss-Man Jr. can lose his "Get Out of Jail Free Because You're a Saint" card if he asks me to spend hours doing every project over again, and then decides he actually likes them better the original way, thus forcing me to spend hours changing them back.
3. The Facebook virus is still on the loose.  Oops. 
4. Deac isn't a fan of my incessant, pointless emails.  (I can't imagine why!!)  
5. I am a jerk for bitching about my salary.  (This epiphany occurred when I was pulling stats on low-income communities in my city.) 
6. Chargers are actually little plate thingies you put under dinner plates (like trivets).  
7. I won a set of 4 chargers from my friend Sam's blog. 
8. If I break my computer, I can get Windows 7 on it, instead of Windows Vista.  Hmm...
9. Zyrtec-D  makes me VERY. VERY. CRANKY. 

    10.  I am not above creating an entire, pointless post, just so I can share                            the above image. 

That is all. 

Southland in the Springtime

It's this time of year when I'm most grateful to be a Dixie Princess.  

It's so beautiful right now!  Warm, sunny, flowers, birds.  If there wasn't a Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man sized cloud of yellow that turns me into a human snot/sneeze factory for 3 months, I'd probably be the happiest disgruntled person alive.  

So, a little tribute to you, Spring.  Here are some of my favorite things about my favorite season: 

1. Daffodils.  They're just pretty.   
2. Longer days.  It's easier to leave work late if there's still hope of daylight when you get out.
3. Sunshine.  And the fact that, if I spend some time in it, I might not look like a vampire.  (And not the sexy Cullen variety - more like the pasty, terminally ill kind.) 
4. Tax Refunds.  If I ever get around to doing my taxes, I will enjoy receiving a refund of my hard-earned money - which the government has been spending, interest-free, for the past year. 
5. Morning songbirds.  What a lovely way to wake up.  (If only they were effective enough to replace my two wretched alarm clocks.) 
6. Weekend getaways.  
7. No more wool coats.
8. Festivals and farmer's markets.  Looking forward to some outdoor shopping.
9. The end of mandatory overtime (April 15, BABY!)   
10. Spring colored clothing.  And being able to wear dresses with sandals again. 

  

Welcome Back, Spring!  WE HEART YOU!!!  

---

Maybe we'll make Texas by the morning
Light the bayou with our tail lights in the night
800 miles to el paso from the state line
And we never have the money for the flight

I'm in the back seat sleepy from the travel
Played our hearts out all night long in New Orleans
I'm dirty from the diesel fumes, drinking coffee black
When the first breath of Texas comes in clean

And there's something 'bout the Southland in the springtime
Where the waters flow with confidence and reason
Though I miss her when I'm gone it won't ever be too long
Till I'm home again to spend my favorite season
When God made me born a yankee he was teasin'
There's no place like home and none more pleasin'
Than the Southland in the springtime

In Georgia nights are softer than a whisper
Beneath a quilt somebody's mother made by hand
With the farmland like a tapestry passed down through generations
And the peach trees stitched across the land
There'll be cider up near Helen off the roadside
And boiled peanuts in a bag to warm your fingers
And the smoke from the chimneys meets its maker in the sky
With a song that winter wrote whose melody lingers

And there's something 'bout the Southland in the springtime
Where the waters flow with confidence and reason
Though I miss her when I'm gone it won't ever be too long
Till I'm home again to spend my favorite season
When God made me born a yankee he was teasin'

There's no place like home 
and none more pleasin'
Than the Southland in the Springtime

-Indigo Girls