Saved By the Bell - Saturday

Howdy, folks!  Sorry I've been so sporadic lately.  It's been a crazy time in the life of your Song Master.  Part of what's made my day-to-day so nutty is the start of concert season!  Yay!!!  Seven lined up so far this summer, starting with Panic! at the Disco last night, and James Taylor tonight.  (Did I mention that I'm a "contradiction in every way"?)  Last night's show was a date with NewB and some pals and tonight's was a date with dear old Dad (our 3rd time seeing the original JT together).  


My friend Timmy, one of those pals who accompanied me to Panic! last night, reminded me of one of the most classic of all SBTB episodes EVER the other day.  Since it kind of fits in with the start of concert season, I thought we'd take a look back to the "Rockumentary" episode in the this week's installment of SBTB Saturday!  Woot!


Remember Zack's kick-ass band? 

They were so uber talented! It's terrifying to think we almost lost them to their petty spats, egomania, and power plays. 

(Can't exactly remember why Screech is dressed like some kind of priest...)

But, as Kasey Kasem so brilliantly divulged in Zack's elaborate daydream/fantasy/imaginary Behind The Music installment, fame was almost too much to handle for our blonde heartthrob. (As was that trashy pedophile manager of his...  Stay tuned - one of these days I'll actually get around to posting the SBTB Saturday edition on age-inappropriate relationships that's been floating around my head since the theme's inception.) 


Thank goodness the Bayside High gang learned a valuable lesson on standing by your besties and getting back to your roots (i.e. The Max),   

otherwise, we might not ever have been graced with this little ditty:  

"Friends forever" Zack Attack
Tags: "Friends forever" Zack Attack

"Friends Forever.  It's a nice idea."  

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Side note - "Rockumentary" wasn't the first time we were introduced to the "Friends Forever" sentiment.  Remember "The Friendship Business"?  When, for a class project, the gang sells friendship bracelets?  Only, Zack again gets a little greedy (common theme in SBTB), forcing Jessie, Kelly, and Slater to come up with the even awesomer "Buddy Bands".  In case you forgot: 

You can thank me later for that one.  

(Don't worry, though.  They realize in the end that working together -and "Luv Cuffs" - are the way to go.)

Every Picture Tells A Story

My, Oh My, peeps - has this been a crazy couple of weeks!  (That almost rhymes.)  I thought about debriefing you all on the myriad of events that have taken place since I posted my masterful mixes last week, but then I realized I'd prefer it if you all kept reading my blog.  I still want to tell my story, but I figure since the average blog reader has the blogging attention span of a pre-schooler (or, maybe that's just me), it might be more entertaining to tell my story in pictures.  You can interpret them how you like: 


(Oh, I will tell you that the GORGEOUS baby boy is my new nephew Logan - born last Thursday.  He's perfect!)


(And - some of these pictures come right out of email conversations between NewB and me, which often contain funny images that sum up our goings on.)

(Disclaimer: All of the following images are stolen from other sites.  Thanks to Allie at Hyperbole & a Half and all the others from whom NewB and I pilfered.)

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(I half expected to see this guy pop out from some dark corner:) 

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Me: 


Blah, I am just terrible today…

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NewB: 

Figure 2: Life worth living

Figure 3: Soul crushing disappointment

My favorite part.

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Me: 

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NewB: 

I’m guessing figure 2 is me and you and figure 3 is just you now?

Here’s a couple for you J

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The End. 

The Mixed Tape - Parts I-IV

So, this is a music blog.  And a humor blog and a trash talk blog and a bitchy blog, but mostly a music blog.  I am obsessed with music.  Duh.  Since I was born with a terrible voice and absolutely no hand-eye coordination or music-reading capabilities, my hopes for musical ability have manifested in an uncanny gift for creating the perfect compilation CD.  (In my humble opinion, that is, and for what it's worth.)  For instance, I created a string of mixes for my sister that spanned 19 discs and roughly 360 songs.  Since her music repertoire now consists primarily of the Fresh Beat Band and Yo Gabba Gabba (remember - she's about to burst with her third little rugrat), I decided my mixes for her were probably going to waste.  So, for 2011, I have decided to create one mix per month (and sometimes two), purely for personal consumption.  These tend to be completed around the middle to the end of the month and generally consist of 18-19 choice tunes.

I have decided the that by not sharing my fantastic selections with you, fair readers, I have been doing you a great disservice.  As such, I have created a new series of entries entitled "The Mixed Tape" (as you can plainly read), through which I will impart my genius on you all.  You may like my taste or you may hate it - though I don't see how!  But hopefully, if nothing else, you might find some inspiration to investigate new bands and sounds.  Enjoy!



(PS - Songs in bold are my most favoritest right now.)

(PPS - A lot of this year's mixes have been inspired by Big Love, which has a KILLER soundtrack.  Down the road I will provide you with the song list from the entire series.  You're welcome in advance.)

Part I - January: Happy Birthday to Me!!

1. Home - Engineers 
2. Letters from the Sky - Civil Twilight 
3. Wordless Chorus - My Morning Jacket 
4. The Fallout - O.A.R. 
5. Chasing Pavements - Adele 
6. The District Sleeps Alone Tonight - The Postal Service 
7. I'd Rather Be With You - Joshua Radin 
8. Fidelity - Regina Spektor 
9. Moth's Wings - Passion Pit 
10. Flying Horses - Dispatch 
11. Seven Days in Sunny June - Jamiroquai 
12. Sugar We're Going Down - Fall Out Boy
13. Take Your Mama - Scissor Sisters 
14. Strict Machine - Goldfrapp 
15. Misery Business - Paramore 
16. Little Bird - Annie Lennox 
17. Stay Young - We the Kings 
18. Strictly Game - Harlem Shakes 
19. Say Hey (I Love You) - Michael Franti & Spearhead

Part II - February: Love Stinks!  (though I'm not feeling that way so much these days...) 

1. Save Me - Remy Zero 
2. Skips - Alexz Johnson 
3. Airplanes - B.o.B. & Eminem 
4. Leap of Faith - Sanctus Real 
5. Laid - James 
6. Touch Me I'm Going to Scream, Pt. 2 - My Morning Jacket 
7. Twilight Serenade - Jason Myles Goss 
8. Lay Down (Candles in the Rain) - Melanie 
9. A Love Song - Anne Murray 
10. Half of My Heart - John Mayer 
11. Silly Love Songs - Glee Cast 
12. The Happiest Girl in the Whole U.S.A. - Donna Fargo 
13. Glass of Water - Coldplay 
14. Black & Gold - Sam Sparro 
15. Lights Out - Santogold 
16. Thriller/Heads Will Roll - Glee Cast 
17. DJ Got Us Falling in Love - Usher 
18. I Hear the Bells - Mike Doughty 
19. Your Easy Lovin' Ain't Pleasin' Nothin' - Mayer Hawthorne 

Part II(a) - February: Kick Its Ass! - A Mix for the Bar Exam

1. Lose Yourself - Eminem 
2. Heads Will Roll - Yeah Yeah Yeahs 
3. Uprising - Muse 
4. Me Against the Music - Glee Cast 
5. New Shoes - Paolo Nutini 
6. Down - Jay Sean 
7. Dynamite - Taio Cruz 
8. Lisztomania - Phoenix 
9. The Real Slim Shady - Eminem 
10. Little Bird - Annie Lennox 
11. Tik Tok - Ke$ha
12. Firework - Katy Perry 
13. Club Can't Handle Me - Flo Rida 
14. Life is a Show - Cassie Steele 
15. Raise Your Glass - Pink 

Part III - March: March MAD-Ness 

1. Sing - Glee Cast 
2. Scott Mescudi vs. The World - Kid Cudi 
3. Naturally - Matt Wertz 
4. Dead Flowers - Miranda Lambert 
5. The Cave - Mumford & Sons 
6. Help Yourself - Sad Brad Smith 
7. Orange Sky - Alexi Murdoch 
8. Turn Back Around - Lucy Schwartz 
9. Your Protector - Fleet Foxes 
10. Ain't No Reason - Brett Dennen 
11. Right Me Up - State Radio 
12. Head Full of Doubt/Road Full of Promise - The Avett Brothers 
13. Say - John Mayer 
14. My Mirror Speaks - Death Cab for Cutie 
15. The High Road - Broken Bells 
16. Cosmic Love - Florence & the Machine 
17. Ambling Alp - Yeasayer 
18. Animal - Neon Trees 
19. Daylight - Matt & Kim 
20. John Saw That Number - Neko Case 

Part IV - April: April's Fool 

1. Pretty the World - Matt Nathanson 
2. What is Mine - O.A.R. 
3. Roll Away Your Stone - Mumford & Sons 
4. Middle of Nowhere - Hot Hot Heat 
5. Fall With You - Vic Kingsley 
6. Pony - Ashley Monroe 
7. One Red Thread - Blind Pilot 
8. City of Black & White - Mat Kearney 
9. Seven Nation Army - The White Stripes 
10. I Feel It All - Feist 
11. The General - Dispatch 
12. Wash Away - Joe Purdy 
13. Rise - Eddie Vedder 
14. Cult Logic - Miike Snow 
15. Modern Man - Arcade Fire 
16. See the Light - The Hours 
17. Faster - Matt Nathanson 
18. Life is Life - Noah and the Whale 
19. Love Always Remains - MGMT 

Part IV(a) - April: Gone Country 

1. If I Die Young - The Band Perry 
2. Better Life - Keith Urban 
3. Love Like Crazy - Lee Brice 
4. Suds in the Bucket - Sara Evans
5. In a Real Love - Phil Vassar  
6. Bones - Little Big Town 
7. Put You in a Song - Keith Urban 
8. I Don't Have to Be Me 'Til Monday - Steve Azar 
9. These Days - Rascal Flatts 
10. Me and Charlie Talkin' - Miranda Lambert 
11. Dixie Chicken - Little Feat 
12. Chicken Fried - Zac Brown Band 
13. Dust on the Bottle - David Lee Murphy 
14. Fly Away - Sugarland 
15. Love is a Beautiful Thing - Phil Vassar 
16. Meet in the Middle - Diamond Rio 
17. Somebody Like You - Keith Urban 
18. Mayberry - Rascal Flatts 
19. Red Light - David Nail
20. Little White Church - Little Big Town 

Waist So Skinny - Mondays

Well, this whole diet thing has been a bust.  I had resigned to give up but then NewB started using words like "cruise" and "Bahamas", which conjured up images of "bikinis" and "cocktail dresses".  So, it's back on, peeps!

Weekly updates to follow...

Tell Me Why - Wednesday

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This is more like it: 

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Waist So Skinny - Mondays

  Better this week, but barely... 


Weight: -0.1 lbs
Times Exercised (If you count the two days of yard-work I did, which, I do...): 2
Days I Tracked Points: 0 
Splurges: A lot 


To give myself credit, I had to overcome some outstanding obstacles this week in order to NOT balloon up like the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man.  And, so as to rationalize my paltry performance (at least to myself), I shall regale you with the list of those obstacles: 


Odds Defied; Week Five:


1. I was traveling again for work.  To the extraordinarily depressing town of Reading, PA.  
2. In said hell-hole I found an incredible little diner that served a delightful French Combo.  Brie omelet with pumpkin bread French Toast?  Yes, please!
3. I got sworn into the State Bar (yay, me!) and celebrated over a Melting Pot feast. 
4. I drank YET ANOTHER Chick-fil-a milkshake while running errands.  (Hmm... I guess this doesn't really count as a defied odd, but rather a flat-out failure...) 
5. I was insanely tired.  
6. New Boy (we shall call him, NewB) is quite distracting.
7. So is really crappy TV.


Yet, despite my ridiculous caloric intake, infinite distractions, and intense level of sleep deprivation, I still managed to lose! Imagine what I could do if I actually put my mind to it... 

Little Bird (Wordless Wednesday)

Waist So Skinny - Mondays

So, the whole diet thing?  Not going so well.  I forgot to weigh myself this morning in my frenzy to catch a 7:30 flight (running through the airport OJ Simpson-style to the gate only to have the flight delayed an hour...), but I know I wouldn't like the results if I had.  I thought forcing myself to post my dieting failures would prevent them from occurring, but I would be wrong.  As such, in no particular order, I bring you this week's list of excuses for why I didn't watch the ol' weight (Incidentally, the following also serve as my excuses for not blogging hardly at all, either): 

1. I was traveling for work.  We've already discussed the negative impact that has on all my good intentions. 
2. On said work trip, I caught strep from some nasty fat lady in front of me who wouldn't stop coughing and blowing her nose on the sold-out flight.  Grr... 
3. I stayed at my mom's while my out-of-town family stayed at my house, so I'd have my own bed and not infect anyone.  Therefore, I was at the mercy of my mom's menu for the weekend. And it was quite tasty!
4. It was Easter. 
5. The internet was down from Friday morning until tonight at my mom's (yeah, yeah - I know that shouldn't affect my diet.  It did prevent me from posting any brilliant witticisms, though...).
6. That Chick-Fil-A milkshake was very soothing on my strep-ridden throat! (As was the second one I had today...) 
7. I was in Wisconsin, so I needed the body fat in order to keep warm. 
8. Actually, I really just need to say: I was in Wisconsin.  Let's face it, that's excuse enough.  

At the moment, I'm in Reading, PA.  As such, I have already started working on my list for next week's entry.  In the meantime, I think I'll embrace the curves... 

Trash Talk - Tuesday (on Wednesday)

OPINIONS AHEAD. 

PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

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Today's (well, yesterday's) topic... 

The Stupid Disguises on Y&R: A Photo Essay

For those of you who are new(ish) to Musical Musings, you may not know that I watch the Young & the Restless - and have religiously since birth.  It's hella stupid, I know, but boy do I love it!  NEVER miss an episode.  


The soap is dumb.  It's supposed to be.  It's unrealistic and crazy and silly and, if taken seriously or over-analyzed, it's insulting to a person of somewhat average intelligence.  This insult is arguably most evident in the writers' pathetic efforts to masquerade its characters when they're spying on one another, stealing trade secrets, or, most commonly, running from the law.  When they can't write in a complete plastic surgery makeover (see this issue of Trash Talk for more on the absurdity of that), they resort to the most clever of disguises! (No sarcasm there at all...)  


Some examples: 


1. This is Sharon: 

Sharon has been accused of murder.  She knocked out her guard in the ladies room and escaped from the courthouse after her conviction.  With the help of her luv-ah Adam, she's now a fugitive on the run.  But, with this foolproof plan, I'm sure NO ONE will ever find her!

Because everybody knows it only takes slutty clothes and hair a shade darker to evade capital murder charges! 

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2.  And, here's Skye: 





Incidentally, this is the woman Sharon has been accused of murdering.  But before she fell down a volcano to her untimely demise, she was already supposed to be dead.  Victor, Skye's (and Sharon's) father-in-law, helped Skye fake her own death and escape to Hawaii.  Since the Newmans are the equivalent of the Trumps in Soap-Land, I'm sure the news of a Newman wife's death would never make it all the way to the islands.  Just in case, though, Skye came up with this killer guise: 





With realistic Heidi braids like these, she's home free!!

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3. Jack is a mainstay of Y&R.  He's been on it since the beginning of time.  This is Jack on a typical day:




Jack flew to Hawaii (to find Skye).  Knowing that he'd be recognized by Victor's strategically-placed lackeys if he went as himself, he chose to portray a middle-aged surfer/drifter: 

Because, I guess if he gets some salt water in his hair and says "dude" enough, he's basically a whole different person... 

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4. Across town, and unrelated to the Sharon/Skye/Victor/Jack debacle, Jana, who normally looks like this: 

Is up to all kinds of no good.  She's decided to find her ex-hubby's niece - who she suspects has been sold to a black-market baby broker - in a pathetic attempt to win him back. (OMG - I am realizing how ridiculous this show really is, seeing the plot-lines in writing...)  So, she goes "undercover" (read, fake baby belly and a crappy accent) to meet the kiddie-dealer:

And then again to investigate a suspicious bank account number: 

I know I'm fooled!

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(Sorry the spacing is all messed up.  I really don't have the patience to fix the HTML right now.) 


5. Suspicious of Jana's wacky behavior, Chloe and Gloria: 


  


Decide to partake in a little breaking & entering to sift through Jana's belongings for clues.  

      













C'mon, what good lawbreaker's wardrobe doesn't include a stealthy cat-suit??  I mean, you just KNOW you're getting caught without one!

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6. Last, but CERTAINLY not least, is Adam: 





Adam is THE BEST at disguises!!  


This is Sabrina - Victor's late wife: 





Here is Adam - playing the dead Sabrina: 

Uncanny, isn't it?!?!?!  Convincing enough to drive Ashley (the blond in the first picture) to the mental institution, anyway! 

But, even better than his Sabrina get-up is Adam's affinity for baseball caps and sunglasses.  It seems that this convicted murderer, forger, fugitive, perjurer, and all-around stand-up guy need only don his favorite hat, a pair of sunglasses, or maybe some strategically-placed flowers to get away with - well - any of the aforementioned crimes: 

   


Adam - for your ingenuity and remarkable effectiveness, we salute you!!  And to the writers of Y&R?  Maybe you SHOULD quit your day jobs... 

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