DISCLAIMER:

The following ramblings are based on real-life experiences, mishaps, and downright screw-ups. Names (of past, present, and future boyfriends) have been changed or omitted to protect the innocent. And the guilty...

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Random's Manifest - Thursday Thoughts

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TA-DA!  My first installment of Random Thoughts since my return to Bloggy Land!!!  I know you're frickin' thrilled!!!  Don't deny it.  The bizarro workings of my inner-mind are totally kick-ass.

Crash & Burn


Who knew that a side-effect of getting the GREATEST NEWS EVER!!! was total mental shutdown?  Not only can I not concentrate for doody, I feel kinda like hell.  I realized something today: I'm tired.  Like, hella tired.  I've been running on "OMG I have to pass this [insert name of any of a seemingly infinite number of exams here]" adrenaline for over a decade.  The fact that I'm DONE - at least for the foreseeable future - has caused my brain to totally cease functioning.  I stare now.  A lot.  And I feel like I'm going to pass out pretty much all the time.  Boss Man Jr. said tonight - "Why don't you go on home (at 8:15).  You...your eyes look really...uh...tired..." (read - "You look like hammered shit.")  Once this post-o-brilliance is finished, I shall retire for the evening, I think.  (Or, don't think, since I'm apparently not actually capable of doing so...)


Dude, that's sick.


Someone had the bright idea of ripping up our floors in our BRAND NEW building at work, so the elevator banks are closed on my floor and I've been working on the floor below mine this week. (No, not because I'm too lazy to take the stairs.  Because there wasn't room on our floor.  Stop judging.)  That means I'm sitting amongst a totally new set of people that I never see and didn't even know existed.  A pleasant bunch overall, with one rather nasty exception.  THREE TIMES I have heard women leave the bathroom without washing their hands.  Seriously, people.  How old are you?  Learn about hygiene, PLEASE.  If not for yourself, then for your appalled co-workers.  Signed - "I can hear you!"


Not Every Actor Can (or Should) Sing...


Glee rocks.  American Idol showcases actual singing talent.  Grey's Anatomy, though?  I have a very hard time believing tonight's musical episode will be anything but tragic - and not in a good way.  Yes, yes, I understand that the episode is over by now, but I will only be catching it by virtue of my blessed DVR this weekend.  (I have too many episodes of Y&R to catch up on tonight.)  Gotta say, though - the musical episode has been done.  Sometimes well, and sometimes not so much.  It's a tired concept.  While Buffy the Vampire Slayer NAILED IT, I can't really think of another instance in which this deviation from the norm marked anything other than a show's impending demise.  I'm interested to see the general reaction to tonight's display of actor versatility (or lack thereof), and I would love to hear your comments.  I'll weigh in after I catch up this weekend.  










Man, do I love me some Spike!




And Wow, Do You People Love You Some Baby Beauty Queens!

Blogger has made some changes during my hiatus.  For example, I'm super-thrilled to see the "Stats" tab!  Sweet!  I stalk my readers via SiteMeter and BlogPatrol, but now Blogger has made it incredibly easy to monitor your traffic!  Two things I've learned thanks to the Stats tab: 

(1) I need more readers in a MAJOR way.  I mean, c'mon!  I know I'll never be a Chicken or a Cheeseboy or a Hyperbole, but I'm at least kinda funny, right?  (Please say yes - my fragile ego can't take any more rejection.)  So - to all my Blogging pals out there - how do you do it?  Any hints?   

(2) My readers REALLY love kiddie pageants.  And I mean really!  Here's a snapshot of my most viewed posts:





Kinda sad, I know.  But patheticness aside, check out the top post!  1,680 views of the March 2, 2010 episode of Trash Talk.  Wow!  Now, I know my analysis of the kiddie pageant circuit was pure, unadulterated brilliance but, damn!  Maybe I should just devote my blog to covering the local pageant scene.  I bet my followers would increase infinity-fold!  (PS - In third place is the follow-up to the original pageant post, and coming in second is my rant on Jodie Sweetin.  Go figure...)

Necesito Practicar Mi Espanol - In a MAJOR Way

Not sure if any of you know this, but I have a Bachelor's Degree in Spanish. (Yeah, I'm weird like that.  Took some classes and just decided I might as well get another degree.  I've got problems.  But, then, you probably figured that out already...)  And, honestly?  I'm appalled to admit that to you.  Not because I don't think Spanish is a perfectly fantastic major and an incredibly useful language, but rather because I don't remember a damn word of it.  This was made abundantly clear to me this evening when the Hispanic maintenance man came by and asked if he should vacuum the conference room in which I was working.  Granted, he wasn't asking me this in Spanish, but he was definitely struggling to get the idea across in English.  I thought to myself, "Gee, how much easier would this be if I could just have this conversation with him in Spanish?"  Then I realized there's no possible way I could do that.  For starters, I can't remember the word for vacuum, much less how to properly conjugate the verb.  That's just sad, folks.  Sad.  I need to get to Spain again tout suite...





Alrighty kiddos - off to bed.  As aforementioned, I'm beat.  Have a fantastic evening and get your friends to read Musical Musings!  Please!  I need readers!  And new friends!  And affirmations!  


Love ya - 


SS







Follow-Up: Grey's was just as horrible as I thought it would be.  There's always one person who fancies herself a singer, thereby becoming the focus of such a musical episode.  In the Buffy one, it was actually several - Giles, Tara, Spike... But in the Grey's musical, it was Callie.  She was good, but not good enough to warrant subjecting innocent audiences to all the other wretched voices on that show.  And, it added nothing but distraction and confusion to the plot line.  Epic fail, Grey's.  Epic fail.  I look forward to hearing about your now-inevitable cancellation.    


5 comments:

Cheeseboy said...

Wow. Appreciate the mention. And yes, you are definitely funny enough to get more readers, for sure. You got me now, right?

The bathroom thing is disgusting. I actually caught my WIFE leaving the bathroom without washing her hands the other day and she actually said, "Well, I didn't even touch anything?" Now I was confused because I thought women had to wipe EVERY time? Is this not correct?

Anyway, now I am following and I will be back to cause more mischief.

Kristen said...

Last time I checked, yes - we have to wipe EVERY time. Maybe she had really thick toilet tissue? Still a little scary, though...

Welcome back! Yes, you knew about my blog (used to follow it, even!), but I dropped off the planet for a while. Good to see that cheesehead on the list of followers again! LOVE your blog!

Hymas Family said...

I liked Grey's! Didn't the girl who plays Callie when a Tony award (or something like that)? I guess when my TV line up includes Sister Wives, Cake Boss, DC Cupcakes, and Barney then Grey's would look pretty good!

J-non said...

About the "I can hear you." You must read Green-eyed Geisha's adventures in corporate toileting in Japan-- for example, here: http://greeneyedgeisha.blogspot.com/2009/12/postcard-from-kaisha-bathroom-edition.html

Once you have educated yourself about the sound princess, you can go to this one: http://greeneyedgeisha.blogspot.com/2010/07/sound-princess-headache.html

Kristen said...

@Hymas Family - NO! NOT BARNEY!! How did that happen???

Otherwise, no judgment from me on your TV lineup! I've become a fan of Hoarding: Buried Alive, too. Makes me want to throw away everything I own...

@J-Non - Looking forward to reading those!

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