DISCLAIMER:

The following ramblings are based on real-life experiences, mishaps, and downright screw-ups. Names (of past, present, and future boyfriends) have been changed or omitted to protect the innocent. And the guilty...

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Random's Manifest - Thursday Thoughts

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Random, ENRAGED thoughts today.  Why ENRAGED?  Well, read on to find out…

Opening a can of Whoop-Ass

So, I’ve been taking the CPA Exam for most of my adult life, as you all know.  It is by far one of the most miserable things one can do to one’s self.  The test itself is long, tedious, boring, and FRICKIN’ IMPOSSIBLE.  I know millions have passed it, but they are also far more intelligent, focused, and NOT ADD than I.  Many things have gotten in the way of the exam in the past 3 years.  There was that time I was in the hospital with two collapsed lungs and couldn’t take it.  And then there was the time it was scheduled for the day of my Grandmother’s funeral.  Did I get an extension or a refund of the $400 fees for either of those instances?  NOPE.  “No refunds. No extensions.  No exceptions.”  Verbatim, that is what the crazy bitch at the state CPA Exam Board told me.  There’s $800 I’ll never see again. 

Now, I found out that my ADD diagnosis should permit me to receive an accommodation on the exam, so I can actually finish it this next time I take it.  So, I go to the doctor who diagnosed me and have him fill out annoying forms and write a letter and everything.  And then I filled out annoying forms and wrote a letter, too.  There are two forms online that pertain to diagnosis.  The first is for a physician – if a physician diagnosed you.  The second is for a “professional evaluator” – or someone who diagnosis learning disabilities like ADD for a living.  I was diagnosed by a doctor, so I got him to fill out the appropriate form.  (Note – it has taken me WEEKS and at least 20 emails to the Bitch to even get to this point.  She was unwilling to even tell me where on the website I could find these elusive forms.  Only that they were out there in cyberspace, and I had to fill them out.  I mean, how hard is it to copy and paste a frickin’ link??)

That should do it, right?  WRONG.  No dice.  Apparently, the diagnosis of a licensed psychiatrist is not adequate.  They will not give me the additional 30-60 minutes I need for the test unless I also get diagnosed separately by a professional evaluator.  What that translates to is $2,000 worth of tests that are NOT covered by insurance.  Understand that I’ve already spent THOUSANDS of dollars on this exam.  (Enough to buy a car, probably.)  So, color me crazy for not wanting to sink another $2K into it.  For something that’s ALREADY been done.  I told her as much, and asked to speak to someone above her.  She’s scrambling now.  We’ll see what comes of it.  Regardless, I’m going to the Board Deputy this time…

End rant.

Rain, Rain STAY AWAY

Deac has VERY kindly and generously offered to whisk me away to the beach this weekend to help me de-stress.  This couldn’t come at a better time, as I am currently shaking from the craziness that has ensued today.  BUT, the weather forecast is not looking promising.  So – everyone out there – cross your fingers that, as per usual, the weather people will be WRONG and we’ll get 75 degrees and clear skies all the way…

Out of the road, my Deer

I almost wrecked the car on the highway the other night when I was driving home from work at 1:00 am, because a Deer was just hanging out on the side of the interstate.  It got me to thinking – first about why deer do that!  Stay in the woods, Mr. Deer!  You’re far less likely to end up in the Roadkill Café if you don’t loiter about on busy freeways.  Then my thoughts moved on to the word “deer”.  It’s one of few words whose singular and plural forms are the same.  In fact, for the rest of the drive home, I tried to think of other such words and couldn’t come up with a single one.  Granted, my brain was a little fried at that point, but still.  Can you guys think of any other words like that?

I’m with Stupid à

As I was heading to Mickey D’s this morning for my large coffee and giant iced tea, I heard a rather amusing tale on the “Strange News” report on the morning show.  Check out the story: http://www.nbcconnecticut.com/news/weird/Calling-Ahead-Doesnt-Get-Bank-Robbers-Far-88999452.html.

Words of advice – if you’re going to rob a bank (which I know has crossed my mind today, as I do my bills…), do NOT call ahead and request that the cash be bagged and waiting for you.  What you are much more likely to receive in that case is a fun filled run-in with the fuzz.  Epic PHAIL.  Idiots.

Prayers for a Stinky Dog

My beagle, Snoopy (I know, we’re so original), a.k.a. Stinky, has been diagnosed with the kind of anemia that is caused by internal bleeding.  We hoped it was his arthritis medicine that was causing the bleeding, but it sounds like it’s more serious than that.  He’s an old geezer, but we love him dearly.  Please pray (or send good thoughts, if you’re not the praying type) for our little stinky dog as he undergoes some diagnostic tests.  Hopefully it’s something that can be treated with ease.


Alright, K out.  If I don’t get this memo done, Boss-Man Jr. is going to give me the ax, and I’ll REALLY have to rob a bank.  Don’t worry though, I won’t call ahead for reservations… 

Peace. 



This one's for you, CPA Exam Board Lady! 



3 comments:

The Chicken's Consigliere said...

SS-sounds like you are having a truly sucky day. I am sorry. Let's get that lady at the CPA exam office! I think you did the right thing by asking to speak with someone else. Sometimes you just need a fresh start with a new voice on the phone. I will send up a little prayer for Snoopy/Stinky. She's so cute. My husband is a CPA. I think he is still traumatized by the experience of taking the exam over 20 years ago. You've probably received advice from all kinds of people but for the record, I'll give you his secret. You have to pass the entire exam all in the same sitting, right? His strategy was to focus on passing 2 sections, and that is all he studied for, then once he passed those, he concentrated on the other sections. If you are ADD, I would guess you are somewhat of a perfectionist, as well. Maybe you are trying too hard to ace the whole thing at once? My two cents, for what it is worth.

Stolen Sentiments said...

Yes Chicken, it was a rough day - for sure. My rage has subsided. I have a feeling the CPA exam idiots are going to cave.

We don't actually have to pass it all at once anymore, which is great. I have two sections left. I only had one for a while, but then too much time lapsed and I lost credit for one that I'd passed. You'd think I'd be able to pass it again then, right? Not so much. Alas, I will just have to try harder next time. In my defense though - they did make the exam a fair amount tougher, apparently, than it was when it was given all at once.

Thanks for the prayers for the Stinky dog. He's the best dog ever - and yes - SOOOO cute. Such a sweet pooch. We know he's getting old, but we're not ready to give up yet. :)

The Chicken's Consigliere said...

SS-I've passed on the Beautiful Blogger award to you because since I've come to be your bloggy pal, a day wouldn't be the same if we didn't exchange comments. Best to Stinky.

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