DISCLAIMER:

The following ramblings are based on real-life experiences, mishaps, and downright screw-ups. Names (of past, present, and future boyfriends) have been changed or omitted to protect the innocent. And the guilty...

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Blame It On The Rain

So, I know I'm trying to turn over a whole new HAPPY! and POSITIVE! and PUPPIES AND KITTENS! leaf, but it is REALLY hard to do that on a day like this. Today. Effing. Sucks. It's one of those days where the first thought that pops into your head upon opening your eyes (well, after thinking - "damn! didn't I JUST fall asleep?" Answer: yes, you did) is:


AAAAAARRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have been on the verge of tears/homicide since I hit my snooze button for the 27th time, and dragged my sorry butt out of bed. Maybe it's the nasty, nasty weather. This cold, miserable rain that's just adding treachery to our already iced-over roads is making me postal. Sheesh. What's with me today? Or, in the immortal words of Lucas from Empire Records...


"What's with Today, Today?"

Yesterday my rage was focused and subsequently taken out on an inanimate object (see previous post in which I berate my computer). Today, it's being fueled by the Earth's rotation around the sun. Yep, that's right. I'm letting TIME piss me off. Hours on a clock; a number on the calendar. Probably pretty stupid, if you ask me.

But, alas, enraged I am, and I need to let it out. So, without further ado...

Today - Here's 10 things I hate about you:


  1. I hate that my garage-door opener chose this morning, of all mornings, to die. Forcing me to get out of the car in the pouring rain to manually close it.
  2. I hate that I just drove around for an hour looking for a doctor's office, based on the erroneous instructions of five - YES, FIVE - separate staff members, only to find out that I'd missed the appointment. And to top that off, I wasn't even scheduled to see a real doctor in the first place! (For that matter, did you know that Nurse Practitioners are billed as specialists? WTH?? $40 co-pay my arse!)
  3. I hate that I missed out on the opportunity to buy the last size-small Kennebunkport Dress on ModCloth because I was trying to find the aforementioned doctor, and therefore couldn't stop to call and add it to my order. (So what - I bought myself a precious peony print dress and some four-inch heels already today. What's your point? Retail therapy, baby!)
  4. I hate that I've been working my butt off for what seems like an eternity, and feel like I haven't gotten anywhere on this project.
  5. I hate that the two guys I have been emailing that I was actually excited about haven't emailed back, but Mr. Pushy McPusherson stalker guy did (OF COURSE). Yo! Stalker! Get the hint! Grr...
  6. I hate that I also keep getting emails from the Melting Pot and various spas, reminding me of all of their romantic offerings for this Valentine's Day. NO Melting Pot, I do NOT want to "Surprise My Sweet" with your special "Romance Package"! So take your chocolate dipped strawberries and shove 'em!
  7. I hate that I was up two pounds this morning because of my junk-food binge this weekend.
  8. I hate that it's already 3:00, and I haven't even made a dent.
  9. I hate that Phil whatever his name is saw his shadow, and we get six more weeks of miserable, wintry mix.
  10. I hate that I couldn't just pull the covers over my head this morning and pretend this day had never happened...

Take that, February 2, 2010! And KISS MY A**!!!!







Post-Script:

Today, I think it's time we made up. I mean, you ARE the day that brought me this adorable little number:



And, you are the day on which the Season Premiere of LOST will be aired. So, I don't see why we can't just all get along. I'm willing to try if you are. What do you say, Today?

Friends???



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